Troublegum

I had a listen to some Therapy? this week. I loved them when I was
15. All those shouty songs about being a total loner and wanting to
stab people to death. Perfect for a teenager who thinks that growing
your hair long and dressing like a bin-man marks you out as an
individual, as opposed to just a knob. They nearly won the Mercury
Music Prize, but lost out to M People in the end. I think they're
stil touring.

On a similar note, I had my first physiotherapy session this week (See
how I did that? Classy. Smoother than a bag
of gravel;, and more subtle than Abi
Titmuss).

I never thought it would be the case, but physiotherapy is fun! To
correct for my kneecaps bing in the wrong place and my feet being
funny-shaped I have to do the following exercises:

The Slow Policeman: This involves standing with my feet pointing
forwards (actually quite difficult for me) and bending my knees with
my back straight and holding it. Kind of like doing that 'ello ello
ello' thing that policemen don't ever do, but in slow motion.

Toe push-ups: Feet flat on floor, curl middle of foot up whilst
pushing down on toes. Apparently doesn't count if I use rock-boots
for this.

The Flamingo: Pretty much as you'd expect - standing about on one
leg. I like doing this whilst on the phone at work.

OK, so the exercises are actually pretty dull, but I only have to do
them for a week and then I move on to more advanced ones. Here's
hoping that in a few weeks time I'll have to do spinning handstands
whilst juggling a medicine ball with my feet. Who knows? Maybe after
all of this my knees will be slightly less knobbly, thus reducing my
chances of winning a free bottle of Asti Spumanti at Butlins.