Thursday, September 30, 2004

Things I have thought about today

In no particular order:
  • How long the gaffa tape holding my shoes together will last.
  • Why don't barbeque falour crisps taste of metal and charcoal?
  • The noise the automatic door closers make in our flat.
  • Whether or not I will end up drunk tonight.
  • SSH secure shell servers.
  • Climbing, specifically what I will do on Sunday if it rains.
  • Hormonally-motivated thoughts (which are none of your business thank you very much).
  • I want the new Delgados album - am I too poor to buy it (answer is yes, but that may not stop me).
  • How some friends have done in their exams.
  • Lunch.
  • Dinner.
  • Snacks.
  • How to fix the broken hoover.
  • What I will be doing in 2 months time.
  • Earth, Wind & Fire
  • SHOUTING IN CAPSLOCK IS A WEAPON OF FEAR
  • Going to Spain for New Year's celebrations.
  • How to write a Masters Thesis.
  • I hate shaving.
  • I am poor.
And a myriad of other things that escape my memory right now.

Just in case you were wondering.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Boozohol Ate My Brain



I'll say it now just to get it out of the way - "I am never going to drink again".

Yet again I have been participating in the ritual of drinking onesself into a stupor, dancing to awful music in a crap nightclub (although I do love scrubway, it is very crap indeed) and then regretting it the next day. Why on earth do we poison ourselves in the name of fun? And who on earth decided to do tequila?

Having said which, I'm pretty sure last night wouldn't have been fun if I was sober. And there's no way I would have danced with all those girls like that either.

So it looks like I'll be doing it all over again Saturday night in the Clachaig.

God I'm stupid.

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

WOOOHAAAAA



I got y'all in check!

Friday, September 17, 2004

Goodbye Academia

Well, it's been all quiet on the weblog front of late, primarily because I've been making big life decisions and haven't had the mental energy to post.

I've decided to quit my PhD and cash in the work I've done so far for an MSc. The next step is then to get a job for a few years to save some money to pay for a teacher training to become your worst nightmare - an enthusiastic chemistry teacher!

I'm a bit terrified of the real world, but I spose I've got to face up to it sometime so here goes. Wish me luck!

Oh, I went Ice Climbing at the indoor ice wall in Kinlochleven the other week too, which was ace. Heartily recommended.

Friday, September 10, 2004

20 miliseconds into the future

Yesterday I took part in some psychological research to help with someone's PhD (and to earn myself an easy tenner).

It involved wearing what looked like a swimming cap with lots fo wires coming out of the top to measure the conductivity across my brain. Also, in order for the electrodes to work, a substance that looked remarkably like semen was injected into them, which not only added to the general discomfort of the headwear, but made me look like I'd been involved in some sort of foul porn film afterwards.

The idea was to measure brain activity whilst looking at pictures of faces and deciding which ones looked happy or neutral. I don't know how many I got right, but there was a significant amount of brain activity approx 20miliseconds before the computer showed any pictures. Thus I can conclude that I am psychic.

Ommmm.

Now if only I could see further into the future than 20ms I might have predicted how bad that gin was going to make me feel last night.

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

A Minute's Excessive Noise

Last night I heard that Imperial Music in Bristol had closed down.



During my years at university in Bristol, this shop was almost the sole source of all of my music. Not only was the selection of music they had there incredible, but the staff were friendly and obviously cared very much about making their customers happy. They even put little stickers on the CD cases giving a little review of what was inside (the reviews were always spot on).

It was much more than just a record shop to me and I shall miss it dearly.

I suggest that if you feel the same way you mourn its passing by turning up your stereo and staging a minute's excessive noise.

Monday, September 06, 2004

Karma

What a fantastic Sunday!

I hadn't been mountain biking since, oooh, 1998 so I was pretty excited by the prospect of getting on a fat-tyred velocipede and thrashing my way around the purpose-built trails of Glen Tress. I was a bit worried that I'd be quite rusty, but as soon as I got on the bike I realised that it's one of those things you don't forget. Just like... oh you know the proverb. (See how I insert a bad pun there without actually saying it - sometimes I marvel at my own subtlety).

So about half an hour later I find myself pumping uphill with my legs apparently full of liquid mercury and a heart rate faster than a hummingbird's. Who's stupid idea was this anyway? Er, mine I think. Maybe I was drunk or something. Surely I'd remembered mountain biking to be actual fun, but this was just torture.

Just as I was convinced that the last of my bodily moisture was about to be sweat away, I turned the corner onto a narrow track and then zwooosh. All the previous torture was forgotten as I plummeted down the twisty singletrack, every neuron and muscle working together to avoid each rock, lean into each berm and negotiate each drop-off. There isnt even time to be scared by the amount of skin you might lose if it all goes wrong as you hurtle through the trees. And then before you know it you're spat out the other side, utterly desperate for another adrenaline fix (which requires more leg-destroying uphills).

It's a bit lile sledging, only you can still feel your toes afterwards and it isn't cheating to use your brakes. Apparently I look like a grin on a bike when I'm riding.

To top the rest of the day off a whole bunch of us climbed up onto the roof of our flat last night to watch the Edinburgh Festival Fireworks. It was one of those dreich nights that gives the sky a malicious atmosphere so the firework display looked like tropical storm over the city. Even in the sopping drizzle you couldn't fail to be mystified.

I am however, beginning to think that the Buddhists have a point with that Karma stuff though because in contrast today has just been shite.


Sunday, September 05, 2004

Customer Service

So hte other day I bought an album on a whim from Avalanche records. I'd heard of the band before and asked one of the staff if he thought it was any good. He said they were like the scottish Foo Fighters, so I thought ace, I'll give that a try.

Except it was pish. More like the Scottish Def Leppard than Foo Fighters.

So I took it back:

"What's your reason for returning it?"

"It's rubbish"

"We only do returns on damaged or faulty goods...

...But I agree, it is rubbish, I'll swap it. Have a free badge too."

I will certainly be shopping there again.

Friday, September 03, 2004

Rhythm is Important

I was just walking along last night (without my walkman, which is rare!) and I noticed that there was a hollow sound when my feet landed on the pavement. I took this to mean that the paving stones were loose and the sound was them moving.

As I took more steps I realised that I was actually walking in perfect time with the Ladyboys of Bangkok playing on the meadows. Maybe I would have made a good drummer after all, with timing like that.

Thursday, September 02, 2004

Go East





Well, I'm back from Budapest. I sort of planned writing some sort of travelogue type thing about the whole experience, but to be honest I can't be arsed and seeing as I went there for a conference it will be about as interesting as listening to Embrace.

A week of intensive science, sightseeing, schmoozing and meat-eating have left me pretty wiped-out. I was staying in a very posh hotel, with a thermal spa and such things, which was nice, although I have discovered that I sleep badly and have weird dreams in hotels regardless of how posh they are. I am also suspicious that there is a conspiracy of carpenters who, regardless of which country I'm in, wait until I REALLY need some sleep before they start carpenting OUTSIDE MY BEDROOM WINDOW AT 6.30 IN THE MORNING. I wish a pox upon them and hope their stupid wooden creations catch fire, burning their faces off in the process.

Having said which, I met some ace people, ate some nice goulash and gazed slack-jawed at the myriad of attractive Eastern European girls who seem to just walk around looking gorgeous with no concern for my attention span whatsoever.

Another reason why there is no detail in my Hungary story is the fact that when the beer wasnt cheap, it was free. Large chunks of time have been replaced in my memory with the BBC test card and some nice elevator music. Occasionally a soft voice fades in to mention something about technical difficulties.

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Budapest

Not only is it the name of a fine song by The Reindeer Section, but it is also the capital of Hungary and the venue for the conference that I'm attending this week. Hurrah.

This means that next week I'll doubtlessly post something on here to gloat about how nice it is there. And it wil also undoubteldy come across more as Bill Bailey than Bill Bryson.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

A Good Weekend

The weekend actually started quite badly, with a disobedient bike spitting me off at high speed resulting in an involuntary skin sacrifice to the Gods of Mayfield Road.

Still, things improved dramatically what with there being some rather scorchio weather round these parts, giving that excellent carefree summer weekend vibe that makes you feel like eating salad and generally larking about. Cue a barbeque on the meadows with lots of friends, followed by a game of rounders and a few rides in the funfair. We even managed to get an outdoor table in one of Edinburgh's few beer gardens to finish the night off.

Today was a trip to Aberdour for some sea-cliff climbing. A big smiley sun making the view across the Forth even more spectacular and general good cheer all round. Plus I helped a friend get over her fear of lead climbing, which I think gave us both a nice warm sense of achievement.

Nothing ground-breakingly exciting there, but just stress-free and totally enjoyable. The kind of weekend that makes it easier to put up with crap midweeks, ad what more could you ask for?

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Things to do in Edinburgh When You're Dizzy.

There are things that many of us take for granted which become highly treasured when they are temporarily taken away.

For me one of these things, as I discovered last week, is my sense of balance. A rather unfriendly virus decided to set up camp in my inner ear, thus depriving me of my already somewhat ropey balance. Needless to say, there isn't much you can do when you have this affliction, mainly because most things involve moving your head too much.

Here are some handy suggestions based on my experience of the past week:

  • Watch DVDs - Obvious, really. Try to go for sets that comprise a whole TV series as this tends to kill much more time and you can also break it into chunks nicely. I recommend Family Guy (almost as good as the Simpsons) and The Day Today (as long as you never want to be able to watch the news with a straight face again).
  • Avoid daytime TV - I have come to the conclusion that there are only about five TV executives in the UK at the moment. And they are all very very drunk.
  • Learn about sport - thanks to the BBC's marvellous olympic coverage I now understand the points scoring of judo and badminton, and have more knowlege of olympic swimming than I could ever desire.
  • Have Friends Round - I think I would have gone insane if it weren't for ther steady stream of mates coming to make me cups of tea and give me sympathy (and run around after me in general). They are spendid people one and all.
  • Sleep - I have seized the opportunity to do some training for the 2008 olympics, where sleeping will be introduced as an olympic sport. I think I stand a good medal chance.
  • Listen to lots of music, obviously - No different to any other time, really, but here's a few of the albums I've re-discovered in the past week:
    • Ben Folds Five - Ben Folds Five I realised whilst listening to this that I'm the only Ben Folds fan I know that hasn't at some point in their life had piano lessons. Nevertheless, this is a fantastic collection of clever indie pop, and it makes me want to play 'air piano'.
    • Snow Patrol - When It's All Over We Still Have To Clear Up Now that they've sold a squillion copies of their new album Final Straw I can only hope that more people discover this, their second and best album. Although slightly less polished than its sucessor, When It's... has a warmth and sincerity that hasnt been matched by their newer stuff.
    • The Cinematic Orchestra - Man With The Movie Camera Unlike many other artists of their ilk, the cinematics weren't content with making soundtracks to imaginary movies so they found some Russian cinema 'Classic' to make tunes for. Mostly consisting of stripped down versions of the stuff on 'Every Day' it has an excellent live feel to it. And not too 'Jazz Club - Nice' either.
    • Buck 65 - Talkin' Honky Blues Possibly the worlds least conventional hip-hop artist, Buck eschews the usual violence, mysogeny and general language of rap to produce something far more refreshing. There are stories ranging from madcap road journeys to the life of a shoe shine, all underpinned with some superb beats crafted from both samples and proper instruments. Everyone should be forced to listen to this, ESPECIALLY if they think hip-hop is rubbish.
    • Explosions In The Sky - The Earth Is Not A Cold, Dead Place There's no point in going on about this album. It's quite simply beautiful, and if you don't agree with me then you have no soul.
  • Fall Over - The effect of using a lift when you have vertigo can be quite interesting. My thanks go the the Edinburgh Uni Health Service for scraping my shivering sweaty body off the floor of the lift and treating me nicely until my taxi came.
  • Get Better - Possibly the most fun thing I've done is recover. The ability to walk about and do stuff after a week of inactivity makes me feel invincible. Hooray for that.
Ah well. At least I didn't miss any good weather. Heheh.

Monday, August 09, 2004

Title

I've just noticed that all my recent posts have one word titles. Maybe I should make it a theme.

Naah.

Fear

Earlier this year I decided that I would take part in the KIMM - a 2 day mountain running event. I've enetered with an almost total stranger (you do it in pairs) on the grounds that he seems a rather nice chap and we should get on fine.

Being quite new to this mountain marathon thing we decided on the 'C' class, which is the lowest class, and even if you're really quite crap you should get the whole course completed in plent yof time. Hurrah, I thought. Minimal training required, and even if I have a crap day I should still get to the end and retain my dignity (no laughing, please).

Today the entry lists were relaesed.

I'm not in 'C' class, but on the reserve list for 'B' class. So not only am I going to have to train my knackers off to stand a chance of completing the race sucessfully, but there's also a remote chance that I might not even get to run if not enough people drop out.

I'm very, very frightened now.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Dammit

There's a big gap before the table in my last post, and try as I might I can't get rid of it.

It is a big, blue damnation on my substandard geek skills.

I hang my bespectacled head in shame.

Monday, August 02, 2004

Up

I've just had one of those weekends of climbing that just brings it all home and makes me super-psyched for more climbing (as long as it doesn't interfere with my sleeping).

The thing with climbing is that the reasons for doing it are so nebulous that trying to explain them to anyone is almost always futile. If you weigh up the pros and cons of climbing the table looks something like this:







Cons Pros
It's often cold and wet.It's errr, kind of fun sometimes
It's expensive.
It's dangerous
You have to go to silly places to do it.
It worries your mum.
NOBODY looks good in a climbing harness
It hurts

But still I (and many others) keep going back to it. The unrelenting desire to scale rockfaces, often in a somewhat unbecoming and strenuous manner, is a desire that rarely leaves once its taken hold. I have no idea why, so I'm going to write about my weekend in an attempt to express some of the allure of climbing.

Saturday saw me at Falcon Crag in the Lake District, partnered with one of the EUMC's more talented and enthusiastic climbers. I was a bit aprehensive about this because


  1. I'm lazy
  2. I'm rubbish at climbing

The first route was far harder than I'd climbed before (graded E1 for those interested), but I was seconding the route, which removes most (but not all) of the fear factor from the climb. I totally sailed up the climb, leaving me feeling pretty good about myself having pushed my own personal boundaries. Not a massive leap by any means, but enough to put a spring in my step and add a bit of cockyness.

Of course, that meant I agreed to climb an even harder route. "The Niche", graded E2, came with hearty recommendations from some quite senior (60+?) geordie blokes who's rather vocal enthusiasm and general good nature had been creating a good vibe at the crag all morning. It was, however, hard as nails and I fell off the route several times, getting increasingly more frustrated and tired with each failed move. Still, as we were walking down off trhe crag, when asked how the route was my reply was:

"Fucking Awesome"

It's actually realy cool getting comprehensively spanked off a route like that, because you know you've totally surpassed your limits. Gives you a sense of perspective and all that. And it's nice and satisfying when you're totally knackered and you feel like you've earned it.

The next day I was still pooped, so the plan was to do a nice long easy climb with nice views. Loads of us ended up at the same crag creating a really wicked 'mates climbing together' atmosphere. You know, lots of banter, piss taking that sort of thing. The sun was blasting away at us in a way we rarely experience in this country, and for those few hours, my world consisted entirely of beautiful, sun-kissed rock and the company of some great people. The world really is a better place when you're hauling yourself, a few kilos of metalware, a couple of ropes and some good mates up a pinacle in Cumbria.

Believe me, even if you get what I'm on about in my little anecdote there you're still only a fraction of the way to understanding what it is to climb. There's the 'What on Earth am I Doing Here?' feeling that marks many an epic. The taste of Pasta Splodge cooked whilst sheltering from howling gales in your tent. The knowledge that as you top out on a summit there's no other human beings for miles around. The icy blast on a winter summit.

And to think, if I'd have been any good at any other sports I'd probably spend my weekends watching telly or something. What a horrible thought.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Osmium

The Polyphonic Spree:



Well apparently together they're heavy, which is unsurprising for a band which outnumbers So Solid Crew, Blazin' Squad and the Wu-Tang Clan put together (I haven't actually counted but I'm rather fond of hyperbole). I've been looking forward to their follow up to 'The Beginning Stages Of...' since I fell in love with it last summer and today I welcomed 'Together We're Heavy' into my CD collection. And it makes me smile. All arou-ound.

They look like some sort of fundamentalist religious cult, and their songs do have a sort of hymnal feel to them. But these hymns aren't to any God as such, or even to the sun, as they might first appear. Instead these songs are about Hope, Love and how fantastic life is when you're happy. They're hymns to the human spirit.

All this would usually have me reaching for the 'Hippy Tossers' stamp of disapproval, but somehow the Spree manage to pull it off without being smug or preachy. Their secret is one that they share with The Flaming Lips (who they sound a LOT like on this album) - they get round you by just having great singalong tunes. AND they even make it easier to sing along by pretty much repeating the same line over and over again, which I thought would annoy me but for some reason I find it endearing. There's also a sense of ambition in the music that's really refreshing. There's only a handful of acts in the pop (or indie or whatever) arena that push for that whole orchestral sound and actually pull it off. There's a huge amount of effort gone into the recording of this album, and it's payed off - this certainly doesn't sound like a bunch of indie rock ditties with a few violins tacked on for good measure. Oh, and the drumming's ace. Which I like.

Anyway, that's more than enough rambling on about music for now. I promise I'll post about something else soon. Probably climbing or something.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Furthermore...

The wonderful combination of unsociable hours, my work PC's rather nice speakers adn the wonderufl winamp winamp software has allowed me to fill the lab with random music. Hurrah.

Just finished was 'Your Revolution' by DJ Vadim and Sarah Jones. A wonderfully sinister hip-hop beat accompanies one of the most viscious feminist invectives you're ever likey to hear. A fantastic kick against the often prevelant sexism in hip-hop. And it feels naughty playing it loudly in my place of work. Heeheehee.

Next up is the sublime 'Burn Girl Prom Queen' by mogwai. The 'gwai are partially responsible for my obsession with music, and this incredible track from the imaginatively-titled 'Mogwai EP' is a good example of why I love this band so much. Yet another of their characteristic slow-burning tunes, the combination of the Cowdenbeath Brass Band and some tinkly piano cause this song to make me feel the same way a sunrise over Edinburgh does.

I could go on about this all night, I really could, but I'm sure it would get boring for all but me (and maybe Del), and I have to go home now and get some sleep.

Nighty Night.

Silver Lining

I am, like everybody else, prone to doing very stupid things at times. Yesterday I did a mildly stupid thing by setting up an experiment badly so that I would have to come in at 3 in the morning to set some runs going. D'oh.

On the upside, cycling into work just now, the roads were clear of dangerous motorists - a refreshing change from school-run psycho parents in enormous, badly-piloted pedestrian shredders.

But the best thing of all was the view. The sun was *just* starting to rise over this incredible city, and there was an enormously bright object in the sky (a star? a planet? the ISS? I dunno). The whole sight just gave me this incrediby warm "isnt' the world great" feeling that you only get when you mix sleep deprivation and a splash of unadulterated beauty.

Fantastic.