Sunday, June 29, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Le Meme du Cinq
Stolen from the splendid blog Slaminsky...
Five snacks I’d enjoy in a perfect, non-weight gaining world
Divine Chocolate, Cambozola, Hill Station Cinnamon Ice Cream, Stroopwaffles and whatever cake my girlfriend's been baking
Five snacks I enjoy in the real world
As above except not so much of the ice cream because its about £5 a tub
Five things I’d do if I were a billionaire:
1 - Build a sustainable house/Convert an old house.
I get fucked off with the green bandwagon. It's kind of taken the idea of living sensibly and hollwed it out until it's just another consumer choice. I do however still think that I waste far too much in terms of resources and would love to live more efficiently. I'd build/convert houses for my family/friends as well.
2 - Give a big wadge to Shelter.
People need decent places to live, and Shelter help make that happen.
3 - Bikes
I'd definitely get a couple of really nice bikes, and ride them around some cool places.
Actually, the more I think about it, the less I know what I'd do if I was a billionaire. I mean, it's just so far from reality. Also, I don't really think that the things that make me happy require huge sums of money. I mean, as long as I get to go and hang around in some beautiful places doing fun things with people I like, what does it matter if I do it in Prada slacks? I don't even know anything about expensive stuff - I couldn't even tell you which bikes I'd want. I'm not sure if that's a lack of ambition or a sign of contentedness.
Five jobs I’ve had
1 - Giant Dancing Gnome
For a couple of summers before I started uni I had a job donning a giant gnome outfit and dancing around the MetroCentre in Gateshead. We had proper dance routines, scripts, the lot. There was even a talking dinosaur. Somewhere in my mounds of useless shite I have little cuddly toys of the gnomes. Brilliant job, if a tad sweaty.
2 - Night Cleaner in Food Packing Factory
Even more grim than it sounds. The floor-mopping, toilet cleaning and whatnot were fine, it was cleaning the giant food splurging machines that wasn't. The smell of reconstituted low grade meat isn't good at any time of the day, let alone 3am. The plus side was that could listen to John Peel as my breakfast show.
3 - Office Monkey at the Scottish Executive
Although I was essentially employed for my advanced skillz with the photocopier (300 copies? Double sided? BAM!) I also got a bit involved with some public consultation. As the Bill we were working on was about Crofting (tenant farming in remote bits of Scotland) I got pretty into it, and got to speak to some cool people around the country. I got to sit in on some ministerial debate sessions in the Parliament and hand notes to the minister (who was a complete plamph). And I got flexitime. I miss flexitime.
4 - Various call-centre jobs
Look, I'm not proud of myself, OK?
5 - Lab Technician.
It's what I do at the moment, and is outrageously boring. The work is dull, the people are dull, the building is dull, the management are dull, my description of it is dull. If I could hand my notice in this week I would. Wait, I AM handing my notice in this week. Sweet.
Five places I have lived
Birtley
Washington
Shiney Row
Bristol
Edinburgh
With the exception of Shiney Row, each one has been an improvement on the last. The only place to go once you've tasted what Edinburgh has is to fuck off to the highlands. Which I intend to do some day.
What was I doing 10 years ago?
Although I was supposed to be revising for my A levels I decided that I should also be in a play. It was John Godber's Bouncers and I was one of the four actors on stage for the whole two hours. I spent more time learning lines for that than learning about Special Relativity. The play turned out a bit shit but my A Levels went OK. The lesson there is that you should never try.
Five snacks I’d enjoy in a perfect, non-weight gaining world
Divine Chocolate, Cambozola, Hill Station Cinnamon Ice Cream, Stroopwaffles and whatever cake my girlfriend's been baking
Five snacks I enjoy in the real world
As above except not so much of the ice cream because its about £5 a tub
Five things I’d do if I were a billionaire:
1 - Build a sustainable house/Convert an old house.
I get fucked off with the green bandwagon. It's kind of taken the idea of living sensibly and hollwed it out until it's just another consumer choice. I do however still think that I waste far too much in terms of resources and would love to live more efficiently. I'd build/convert houses for my family/friends as well.
2 - Give a big wadge to Shelter.
People need decent places to live, and Shelter help make that happen.
3 - Bikes
I'd definitely get a couple of really nice bikes, and ride them around some cool places.
Actually, the more I think about it, the less I know what I'd do if I was a billionaire. I mean, it's just so far from reality. Also, I don't really think that the things that make me happy require huge sums of money. I mean, as long as I get to go and hang around in some beautiful places doing fun things with people I like, what does it matter if I do it in Prada slacks? I don't even know anything about expensive stuff - I couldn't even tell you which bikes I'd want. I'm not sure if that's a lack of ambition or a sign of contentedness.
Five jobs I’ve had
1 - Giant Dancing Gnome
For a couple of summers before I started uni I had a job donning a giant gnome outfit and dancing around the MetroCentre in Gateshead. We had proper dance routines, scripts, the lot. There was even a talking dinosaur. Somewhere in my mounds of useless shite I have little cuddly toys of the gnomes. Brilliant job, if a tad sweaty.
2 - Night Cleaner in Food Packing Factory
Even more grim than it sounds. The floor-mopping, toilet cleaning and whatnot were fine, it was cleaning the giant food splurging machines that wasn't. The smell of reconstituted low grade meat isn't good at any time of the day, let alone 3am. The plus side was that could listen to John Peel as my breakfast show.
3 - Office Monkey at the Scottish Executive
Although I was essentially employed for my advanced skillz with the photocopier (300 copies? Double sided? BAM!) I also got a bit involved with some public consultation. As the Bill we were working on was about Crofting (tenant farming in remote bits of Scotland) I got pretty into it, and got to speak to some cool people around the country. I got to sit in on some ministerial debate sessions in the Parliament and hand notes to the minister (who was a complete plamph). And I got flexitime. I miss flexitime.
4 - Various call-centre jobs
Look, I'm not proud of myself, OK?
5 - Lab Technician.
It's what I do at the moment, and is outrageously boring. The work is dull, the people are dull, the building is dull, the management are dull, my description of it is dull. If I could hand my notice in this week I would. Wait, I AM handing my notice in this week. Sweet.
Five places I have lived
Birtley
Washington
Shiney Row
Bristol
Edinburgh
With the exception of Shiney Row, each one has been an improvement on the last. The only place to go once you've tasted what Edinburgh has is to fuck off to the highlands. Which I intend to do some day.
What was I doing 10 years ago?
Although I was supposed to be revising for my A levels I decided that I should also be in a play. It was John Godber's Bouncers and I was one of the four actors on stage for the whole two hours. I spent more time learning lines for that than learning about Special Relativity. The play turned out a bit shit but my A Levels went OK. The lesson there is that you should never try.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Monday, June 02, 2008
Another world
Was it a dream? I'm not so sure. Dreams are seldom as good.
The dream begins on Friday night, as we speed North. I mean really North. Go up to Inverness, follow signs for North. Hold your nerve as the welcoming lights of Ullapool pass you by and keep going. It's worth it. I promise.
We finally pitched our tents in the midnight gloaming somewhere North of Lochinver. We'd left the clouds back in Aviemore, so now each improbable mass of mountain stood stark against the dusk. Still sticky with the grime of a week's work, we began to clean ourselves from the inside out, breathing in that rare air, pushing the smog of the real world away. We retired to bed weary, wired and slightly nervous.
The next morning we're peering over every cliff edge, worried that we'll miss it. We're all but swimming through the fog, trapped in our own tiny bubble of visibility. All of a sudden, there it is, scowling at us through the mist and daring us to climb it.
We'd arrived at our objective for the weekend - the Old Man of Stoer. I don't know if it was the insidious fog, or the 60m of overhanging rock, but it looked far more intimidating than I expected. Looking at it from the approach cliffs you really understand the meaning of the word 'awesome'. At the bottom, we drew lots to see who would have to make the swim over and before long I was plunging into the icy cold brine so I could fix the line for the others to cross.
There's no gear here and these holds are shit. This next bit looks steep. Fuckfuckfuck. Hold it together Steve, it's only a VS. Take some deep breaths and think about your feet. There you go. Now go for it.
As we sat smugly on the summit, the fog eased away letting the sun through to light our smiles and revealing the endless blue Atlantic. We'd done it. Still elated when we'd reached the bottom, we threw ourselves into the sea and baked ourselves in the sun. We swarmed to the top of the nearby hill where we lay silently gazing at what seemed like infinite beauty, listening to the skylark work through its manic songbook. Later that evening, we pitched our tents in our own little paradise amongst the otters and the seabirds. We cooked on the open fire and laughed the laughter of four great friends on their own great adventure.
As the roads get bigger and more busy, so the swoop of the windscreen wipers get more frequent. It's time to head back to the real world. Back to the rain. The dream is over, but you smile, knowing that it was better than any dream, and looking forward to the next one...
The dream begins on Friday night, as we speed North. I mean really North. Go up to Inverness, follow signs for North. Hold your nerve as the welcoming lights of Ullapool pass you by and keep going. It's worth it. I promise.
We finally pitched our tents in the midnight gloaming somewhere North of Lochinver. We'd left the clouds back in Aviemore, so now each improbable mass of mountain stood stark against the dusk. Still sticky with the grime of a week's work, we began to clean ourselves from the inside out, breathing in that rare air, pushing the smog of the real world away. We retired to bed weary, wired and slightly nervous.
The next morning we're peering over every cliff edge, worried that we'll miss it. We're all but swimming through the fog, trapped in our own tiny bubble of visibility. All of a sudden, there it is, scowling at us through the mist and daring us to climb it.
We'd arrived at our objective for the weekend - the Old Man of Stoer. I don't know if it was the insidious fog, or the 60m of overhanging rock, but it looked far more intimidating than I expected. Looking at it from the approach cliffs you really understand the meaning of the word 'awesome'. At the bottom, we drew lots to see who would have to make the swim over and before long I was plunging into the icy cold brine so I could fix the line for the others to cross.
There's no gear here and these holds are shit. This next bit looks steep. Fuckfuckfuck. Hold it together Steve, it's only a VS. Take some deep breaths and think about your feet. There you go. Now go for it.
As we sat smugly on the summit, the fog eased away letting the sun through to light our smiles and revealing the endless blue Atlantic. We'd done it. Still elated when we'd reached the bottom, we threw ourselves into the sea and baked ourselves in the sun. We swarmed to the top of the nearby hill where we lay silently gazing at what seemed like infinite beauty, listening to the skylark work through its manic songbook. Later that evening, we pitched our tents in our own little paradise amongst the otters and the seabirds. We cooked on the open fire and laughed the laughter of four great friends on their own great adventure.
As the roads get bigger and more busy, so the swoop of the windscreen wipers get more frequent. It's time to head back to the real world. Back to the rain. The dream is over, but you smile, knowing that it was better than any dream, and looking forward to the next one...
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Run to the Hills
Late spring/early summer is prime time for heading to Scotland's mountain crags for some fine rock action. There's usually a spell of great weather at this time of year, and the evil midges haven't awoken from their winter slumber.
I've been out and about a wee bit in the hills the past couple of weekends - Garbh Bhienn, Glen Nevis and Lochnagar - and had myself a blast. It's led me to ponder the wondrous nature of it all, which I bring to you via those magic internet tubes they've been digging up your street to install.
I love the full-sensory experience of mountain cragging. The 'crackcrackcrack' of the nesting grouse, the musky aroma of bog myrtle, the welcome feel of the lip at the back of that granite sloper, the tin-foil taste of adrenaline in your mouth. Most of all, though, it's the views. Spending so much time on a rock face means you get to see the landscape transform throughout the day - herds of deer swarm by, the clouds do their thing (sometimes all the way down in the valley) and the shadows stretch off into the evening. There's no way I'd have the patience to see that sort of thing in real life, so getting to experience it is like getting the free gift in your bowl of climb-o-pops (except you don't end up leaving it lying around and eventually just getting it stuck in your foot).
The climbing itself is usually great too. Being four pitches up from the corrie floor makes everything that little bit more committing, and a spot of exposure always makes things more fun.
I think, though, that the most compelling thing about mountain cragging is exemplified by the chap in the foreground:
Sam's a fairly gnarly sport climber who's just crossed about 100m of steep snow to get to the base of the rock. He's in the most excruciating pain any man is likely to feel because of the hot aches in his hands. The route he's come to climb is almost comically easier (on paper) than his usual fare of overhanging crimp-fests, but will feel disproportionately hard. There's no glory to be had for him climbing this, or anything approaching what most people would call 'fun'. I ask him the next day what he thought of the route, and he grins from ear to ear and says 'awesome'.
Says it all, really.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Too Tired
What with a combination of being a weakling and easily frightened as a child, I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was about 8 or 9 years old. When I did finally learn, I spent months in a state of permanent bruisedness - unable to operate the brakes properly I tended to use walls and trees to stop.
Not much has changed on that front (I spent last weekend crashing expensive Demo bikes) but I now appear, according to Bike Snob NYC blog, to qualify as a proper cyclist:
1) A “cyclist” rides a bike even when he or she does not have to.
Aside from the fact that I could easily catch the bus to work each day instead of the 6 mile grind, I'm not sure I could ever pass off a trip to Glen Tress as 'necessary'.
2) A “cyclist” is someone who owns a floor pump.
Damn right I do, and I am secretly suspicious of anyone who doesn't know what pressure their bike tyres are at.
Anyway, reading BSNYC's post about the nature of cycling I'm inspired to blurt my own musings about the joy of two tyred transport:
Zoooom
Remember the scenes in Return of the Jedi where they're on those nifty wee speeder things going through the forest? Remember wanting to join in the fun? Go maountain biking, and ride as fast as you can - it's pretty much the same thing. (Riding road bikes fast is fun too, but harder to describe.)
Calories Out >> Calories In
Anyone who eats as much cake as me should be a massive fatty. No prizes for guessing why I'm not.
Shiny
I'm as prone as many to succumbing to the lure of sexy carbon fibre thrunge brackets and rotary combobulators, but bike porn is a fairly shallow enjoyment. What's far more satisfying about bikes is their sheer simplicity. Even a doofus like me can understand how they work, and indeed fix them. You barely notice when you're riding a well designed and well maintained bike because you're having too much fun.
Pretty
You can use a bike to get to places you'd never bother walking to or that you'd just just speed through in a car.
Lycra
Ok, maybe not.
So, what to listen to while pondering such things?
Why, bikeforthree! of course!
Not much has changed on that front (I spent last weekend crashing expensive Demo bikes) but I now appear, according to Bike Snob NYC blog, to qualify as a proper cyclist:
1) A “cyclist” rides a bike even when he or she does not have to.
Aside from the fact that I could easily catch the bus to work each day instead of the 6 mile grind, I'm not sure I could ever pass off a trip to Glen Tress as 'necessary'.
2) A “cyclist” is someone who owns a floor pump.
Damn right I do, and I am secretly suspicious of anyone who doesn't know what pressure their bike tyres are at.
Anyway, reading BSNYC's post about the nature of cycling I'm inspired to blurt my own musings about the joy of two tyred transport:
Zoooom
Remember the scenes in Return of the Jedi where they're on those nifty wee speeder things going through the forest? Remember wanting to join in the fun? Go maountain biking, and ride as fast as you can - it's pretty much the same thing. (Riding road bikes fast is fun too, but harder to describe.)
Calories Out >> Calories In
Anyone who eats as much cake as me should be a massive fatty. No prizes for guessing why I'm not.
Shiny
I'm as prone as many to succumbing to the lure of sexy carbon fibre thrunge brackets and rotary combobulators, but bike porn is a fairly shallow enjoyment. What's far more satisfying about bikes is their sheer simplicity. Even a doofus like me can understand how they work, and indeed fix them. You barely notice when you're riding a well designed and well maintained bike because you're having too much fun.
Pretty
You can use a bike to get to places you'd never bother walking to or that you'd just just speed through in a car.
Lycra
Ok, maybe not.
So, what to listen to while pondering such things?
Why, bikeforthree! of course!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Lazy Holiday Post.
Whup whup whup.
Here's what happened when I went to font with Sam.
- I got delayed on the Eurostar by a bunch of people demonstrating at Gare de Nord. Was then greeted by a bunch of heavily armed riot cops upon arrival so went to hide in a kebab shop for a bit.
- All the car hire firms in France only take credit cards for deposit. As a result we managed to reduce the carbon footprint of our trip dramatically and also got to experience the excellent Paris public transport system. We also spent far more time than we otherwise would have walking through the forest, which was a rather pleasant experience.
- We ate cheese.
- We met some great people at the campsite, including some very loud geordies and some very committed climbing bums. Makes me wish I had a shitload of money and no direction in life so that I could spend months at a time wearing my skin away.
- Asked/was asked the question 'How are you tips?' repeatedly.
- Sam got things living in his ears and trying to eat through to his brains.
- I took a few photos.
- I learned that if you can't speak much French, you can often get away by using english words in a gay accent. I also learned that if you ask people if they speak english they'll say no, but if you try to speak french badly they'll just speak english.
- Cheese.
- I climbed so much I gave myself tendonitis in my elbows. I think everybody gets it.
- I 'slept' on the platform at Fontainebleau station and swore at every TGV. They are loud in a way that bruises your mind.
- I'll go back again, but yearn for a more adventurous holiday now.
Here's what happened when I went to font with Sam.
- I got delayed on the Eurostar by a bunch of people demonstrating at Gare de Nord. Was then greeted by a bunch of heavily armed riot cops upon arrival so went to hide in a kebab shop for a bit.
- All the car hire firms in France only take credit cards for deposit. As a result we managed to reduce the carbon footprint of our trip dramatically and also got to experience the excellent Paris public transport system. We also spent far more time than we otherwise would have walking through the forest, which was a rather pleasant experience.
- We ate cheese.
- We met some great people at the campsite, including some very loud geordies and some very committed climbing bums. Makes me wish I had a shitload of money and no direction in life so that I could spend months at a time wearing my skin away.
- Asked/was asked the question 'How are you tips?' repeatedly.
- Sam got things living in his ears and trying to eat through to his brains.
- I took a few photos.
- I learned that if you can't speak much French, you can often get away by using english words in a gay accent. I also learned that if you ask people if they speak english they'll say no, but if you try to speak french badly they'll just speak english.
- Cheese.
- I climbed so much I gave myself tendonitis in my elbows. I think everybody gets it.
- I 'slept' on the platform at Fontainebleau station and swore at every TGV. They are loud in a way that bruises your mind.
- I'll go back again, but yearn for a more adventurous holiday now.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
A Whole Pack of Jaffa Cakes (And Other Stories)
I heart lists:
- Just spent today with my lady cycling through the East Neuk of Fife. Lowlights included strong winds, misleading cycleway signs and the advent of Kircaldy. Highlights included glorious coastline, nice wee villages, The Best Chip Shop In All Of Christendom (or whatever) and some mild sunburn. Not a bad way to spend one's time.
- I have tickets to see Radiohead at Glasgow Green in June. I'm not usually a fan of big gigs like that, but it is Radiohead, so I'm bound to like it. I even like Amnesiac ferchrissakes. Excitement is not the word for it.
- Speaking of excitement - DUUUHHHH DUNNNA DUNNN DUNNN DUUUUUUH KILLING IN THE NAME OF! I may also have Reading tickets too. So I get to see Rage Against The Machine. It makes me want to travel back in time to meet teenage Stevious and tell him it'll all work out in the end. Not sure how I'm going to cope with the sea of angsty teenagers (although I suspect that's something I'll have to get used to).
- There's still plenty of snow and ice in the mountains. And the days are longer. Nice.
- I conducted an experiment on the relative toughness of my knee versus the ground at Glen Tress. Whilst I did make an impressive furrow in the mud, I feel that it might be gone by now whereas I predict the scabs on my knee will still be there when I'm 40.
- Ferric refers to compounds containing Iron in its +3 oxidation state, whereas Ferrous refers to the +2 oxidation state.
- Foals are at number 2 (or was it three? something like that) in the UK album charts AND THEY'RE A MATH-ROCK BAND. Great.
- In the time it took me to write this post I have eaten a whole packet of Jaffa Cakes. Feel free to salute me next time you see me.
- Just spent today with my lady cycling through the East Neuk of Fife. Lowlights included strong winds, misleading cycleway signs and the advent of Kircaldy. Highlights included glorious coastline, nice wee villages, The Best Chip Shop In All Of Christendom (or whatever) and some mild sunburn. Not a bad way to spend one's time.
- I have tickets to see Radiohead at Glasgow Green in June. I'm not usually a fan of big gigs like that, but it is Radiohead, so I'm bound to like it. I even like Amnesiac ferchrissakes. Excitement is not the word for it.
- Speaking of excitement - DUUUHHHH DUNNNA DUNNN DUNNN DUUUUUUH KILLING IN THE NAME OF! I may also have Reading tickets too. So I get to see Rage Against The Machine. It makes me want to travel back in time to meet teenage Stevious and tell him it'll all work out in the end. Not sure how I'm going to cope with the sea of angsty teenagers (although I suspect that's something I'll have to get used to).
- There's still plenty of snow and ice in the mountains. And the days are longer. Nice.
- I conducted an experiment on the relative toughness of my knee versus the ground at Glen Tress. Whilst I did make an impressive furrow in the mud, I feel that it might be gone by now whereas I predict the scabs on my knee will still be there when I'm 40.
- Ferric refers to compounds containing Iron in its +3 oxidation state, whereas Ferrous refers to the +2 oxidation state.
- Foals are at number 2 (or was it three? something like that) in the UK album charts AND THEY'RE A MATH-ROCK BAND. Great.
- In the time it took me to write this post I have eaten a whole packet of Jaffa Cakes. Feel free to salute me next time you see me.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Contrast
Well, the mighty borough of Lochaber was a far different prospect at the weekend than my last visit.
I stayed in a wee cottage in Duror with a whole international melange of folk, many of whom were yet to experience the highlands. The highlands didn't disappoint, showing an uncharacteristic tendency towards clement weather and providing japes a-plenty for first-time climbers.
On Sat I plodded up Observatory Ridge with Manjoe. It's a superb route with wonderfully varied climbing, although finding protection and belays was time consuming. Joe deserves maximum hero points for leading the first pitch with nary a bit of gear betwixt myself and he. Here's some photos:
After a late start on Sunday we headed for Scotland's Most Photographed Mountain™, Buchaille Etive Mor. Being a (relatively) small hill, it provides the option of a short day, and routes such as North Buttress and Curved Ridge providing fun in any condition.
On arriving at the base of curved ridge I was surprised to see the number of people who were inappropriately equipped for the climbing. The lower sections of rock were somewhat bare, making axes and crampons more hindrance than help, yet there were several parties struggling their way up in full ice-climbing regalia. You really do have to worry about some folk when a numpty like me can exhibit more common sense than them.
The ridge was wintrier higher up, becoming somewhat of a snowy staircase. The views across Rannoch Moor from there are mindblowing, though, and the company was good fun so there were many larks to be had as we romped to the top. More Photos:
I can't help but feel that the days of great weather were well deserved after so many soggy trudges this year. I suppose that one of the great things about Scottish climbing is that when the days of great weather come along, they seem so much sweeter than, say in the alps where good weather is more common. Here's to hoping for a few more sunny weekends before the winter expires!
I stayed in a wee cottage in Duror with a whole international melange of folk, many of whom were yet to experience the highlands. The highlands didn't disappoint, showing an uncharacteristic tendency towards clement weather and providing japes a-plenty for first-time climbers.
On Sat I plodded up Observatory Ridge with Manjoe. It's a superb route with wonderfully varied climbing, although finding protection and belays was time consuming. Joe deserves maximum hero points for leading the first pitch with nary a bit of gear betwixt myself and he. Here's some photos:
After a late start on Sunday we headed for Scotland's Most Photographed Mountain™, Buchaille Etive Mor. Being a (relatively) small hill, it provides the option of a short day, and routes such as North Buttress and Curved Ridge providing fun in any condition.
On arriving at the base of curved ridge I was surprised to see the number of people who were inappropriately equipped for the climbing. The lower sections of rock were somewhat bare, making axes and crampons more hindrance than help, yet there were several parties struggling their way up in full ice-climbing regalia. You really do have to worry about some folk when a numpty like me can exhibit more common sense than them.
The ridge was wintrier higher up, becoming somewhat of a snowy staircase. The views across Rannoch Moor from there are mindblowing, though, and the company was good fun so there were many larks to be had as we romped to the top. More Photos:
I can't help but feel that the days of great weather were well deserved after so many soggy trudges this year. I suppose that one of the great things about Scottish climbing is that when the days of great weather come along, they seem so much sweeter than, say in the alps where good weather is more common. Here's to hoping for a few more sunny weekends before the winter expires!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Aaalriiight.
I had an interview just over a week ago. It went a bit like this:
Ok, so it was for secondary teaching, but I got the place anyway. Go Me!
Ok, so it was for secondary teaching, but I got the place anyway. Go Me!Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Lochaber Winter Trip - Day Four
Mr Blue Sky
Please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?
Today the ming was in full effect here in the West so we busted a move over to the Cairngorms. Alex and I decided to go and have a poke at the mega-classic Route Major on Carn Etchecan, which lies over in the Loch Avon basin.
The basin is a truly spectacular place - just the promise of a glimpse of the deep blue loch being towered over by Shelterstone crag is enough to carry me through the slog over the cairngorm plateau. And the climbing there is incredible.
Unfortunately, our route finding skills were left lacking today, so we ended up 'new routing' and climbing ourselves into a bit of a corner. One very awkward abseil later and we were back on the corrie floor. Curses, foiled again.
Nevertheless, Mr Blue sky made an appearance, so there were views like these:
Not all was lost, then, and after a quick ascent of a rather spindrifty Castle Gates Gully we high-tailed it across the plateau, bumping into Gaz and Jones on the way:
So, another potentially frustrating day on the hill, but the climbing we did do was fun and the views were well worth it. Just goes to show that the odd bout of shitty weather and a case of incompetence needn't necessarily ruin a day out.
Please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?
Today the ming was in full effect here in the West so we busted a move over to the Cairngorms. Alex and I decided to go and have a poke at the mega-classic Route Major on Carn Etchecan, which lies over in the Loch Avon basin.
The basin is a truly spectacular place - just the promise of a glimpse of the deep blue loch being towered over by Shelterstone crag is enough to carry me through the slog over the cairngorm plateau. And the climbing there is incredible.
Unfortunately, our route finding skills were left lacking today, so we ended up 'new routing' and climbing ourselves into a bit of a corner. One very awkward abseil later and we were back on the corrie floor. Curses, foiled again.
Nevertheless, Mr Blue sky made an appearance, so there were views like these:
Not all was lost, then, and after a quick ascent of a rather spindrifty Castle Gates Gully we high-tailed it across the plateau, bumping into Gaz and Jones on the way:
So, another potentially frustrating day on the hill, but the climbing we did do was fun and the views were well worth it. Just goes to show that the odd bout of shitty weather and a case of incompetence needn't necessarily ruin a day out.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Lochaber Winter Trip - Day Three
What happened to 'The Storm of the Winter?' We didn't see much of it up here.
Nevertheless, it seemed like a good excuse for a lie-in so today we explored the limits of human tea consumption. And popped down to the Ice Factor in Kinlochleven to play on the dry-tooling wall. It's a mildly terrifying pursuit, as you're always worried that you're going to hit yourself in the face with an ice-axe, but 'tis still a lark.
Off east tomorrow, and who knows, we might even see a break in the clouds.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Lochaber Winter Trip - Day Two
Another 5.45 start today, although leaving bed was made easier this morning by the absence of a screaming blizzard hitting the window. Nevertheless, the weather was still on the 'unsettled' side, so we all knew we were in for some good, honest Scottish Winter Ming.
In previous years the walk-in to Ben Nevis has started with the most unpleasant excuse for a path you can think of. It's a bog, and it's steep so it takes about 3 times the energy to climb than a normal path. Fortunately, our good friends in the Forestry Commission have built a new path through the forest which is not only shorter, but immeasurably better surfaced so it's a dream to ascend. It's still quite steep (what do you expect? You're climbing Ben Nevis ffs), but today it felt like a gift from a benevolent. smiling lumberjack. Hooray for that.
Myself and Jo decided to head for the mega-classic North East Buttress via the Slingsby's chimney start. The chimney itself is supposed to be trivially easy in good condition, but we found it plastered with soft, useless snow making progress time-consuming and tenuous. There were many emotional moments, and that section of the route took far longer than we expected but to top that all off, the weather turned seriously unpleasant as I topped out. Lukcily only my nose knew it was winter:
The voice of common sense blew in on the wind and told us to get the fluff off the hill so that we did. Backing off a route can be frustrating, but a big part of the whole climbing game is knowing when to throw in the towel and head for the warm glow of civilisation.
Tomorrow looks like a bit of a storm is hitting, so it's time to hunker down with a bumper box of tea bags and a foot long battenberg. All the ice high up is fattening, so there's likely to be some sport later in the week. Until then, it's loafing time.
In previous years the walk-in to Ben Nevis has started with the most unpleasant excuse for a path you can think of. It's a bog, and it's steep so it takes about 3 times the energy to climb than a normal path. Fortunately, our good friends in the Forestry Commission have built a new path through the forest which is not only shorter, but immeasurably better surfaced so it's a dream to ascend. It's still quite steep (what do you expect? You're climbing Ben Nevis ffs), but today it felt like a gift from a benevolent. smiling lumberjack. Hooray for that.
Myself and Jo decided to head for the mega-classic North East Buttress via the Slingsby's chimney start. The chimney itself is supposed to be trivially easy in good condition, but we found it plastered with soft, useless snow making progress time-consuming and tenuous. There were many emotional moments, and that section of the route took far longer than we expected but to top that all off, the weather turned seriously unpleasant as I topped out. Lukcily only my nose knew it was winter:
The voice of common sense blew in on the wind and told us to get the fluff off the hill so that we did. Backing off a route can be frustrating, but a big part of the whole climbing game is knowing when to throw in the towel and head for the warm glow of civilisation.
Tomorrow looks like a bit of a storm is hitting, so it's time to hunker down with a bumper box of tea bags and a foot long battenberg. All the ice high up is fattening, so there's likely to be some sport later in the week. Until then, it's loafing time.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Lochaber Winter Trip - Day One
I'm 10metres from my last piece of gear and I'm starting to feel the burn in my arms. I've finally found that clump of hero turf to sink my ice axes and relax. Just a few moments of scratching and faffing until I can make myself safe and then continue to the sweet sanctuary of the ledge above. I think I can feel my axes move, but I put it to the back of my mind as I search for the fissure I need. The next thing I see is my adze flying towards my face - SHIIIIIIIIII.....
*BEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP*
I'm gasping awake, tongue glued to the roof of my mouth with the taste of stale adrenaline. It's 5.45am and I've been nightmaring about the dreaded winter climbing fall again. Now I have to face the very real nightmare that can be the winter climbing walk-in. Time to chomp down some oats and head for the hills.
Fast forward and hour, and we're still sat in the car in the Ben Nevis car park. It's truly apocalyptic outside, and we're not even considering braving the maelstrom. It's another wash-out.
And so, I've spent the first of my 5 days up here in Lochaber sat in a Polo listening to Austrian Scheisse Rock and swinging around Fort William's premier technicolour dungeon:
Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
*BEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP*
I'm gasping awake, tongue glued to the roof of my mouth with the taste of stale adrenaline. It's 5.45am and I've been nightmaring about the dreaded winter climbing fall again. Now I have to face the very real nightmare that can be the winter climbing walk-in. Time to chomp down some oats and head for the hills.
Fast forward and hour, and we're still sat in the car in the Ben Nevis car park. It's truly apocalyptic outside, and we're not even considering braving the maelstrom. It's another wash-out.
And so, I've spent the first of my 5 days up here in Lochaber sat in a Polo listening to Austrian Scheisse Rock and swinging around Fort William's premier technicolour dungeon:
Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Quick update
I've updated the links and whatnot over on the right. Doesn't that look better now?
If I've inadvertant;y missed you off and you'd like listing let me know.
If I've inadvertant;y missed you off and you'd like listing let me know.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Bikes + Sun = Fun
I defy anyone to ride the trails at Glen Tress in the sunshine and not grin like a fool.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Abrasion
When the weather forecasts all say 'Freezing level well above summits' for several days, there are a few ways a climber can deal with the sense of impending doom. You can go and walk around in the slush on the hills, shaking your fist at the godless sky screaming 'WHY?!?!', then drink yourself into a coma until springtime. Or you can go to Englandshire and climb on some nice, sunny rocks.
And so this weekend I found myself down in Yorkshire with the EUMC, who are a rather splendid group of people even despite being students. Our aim was to go and play on the infamous Yorkshire Gritstone, which has a reputation for being steep, abrasive and just plain hard. It is all of these things, but it's also gooood.
Yesterday's efforts were concentrated at Cow & Calf rocks near Ilkley, which offer some splendid quarried grit a mere two minutes walk from the nearest ice cream outlet. Having been doing lots of indoor climbing recently I was hoping to display at least some proficiency on the rock, but no amount of plastic-pulling in multicolour dungeons can prepare you for the perplexing and brutal nature of the climbing there. The route are all quite short, but boy do they make you work. I hopped on a mega classic route straight away and got well and truly violated by it. Usually failing on a route (resting on the rope counts as cheating) feels like a big let-down, but the climbing was far too fun for me to care, and I feel like I learned something from it. Although I'm still not sure what.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of udging, jamming and sweating and I was relieved to see most of the others in the group receiving a good old beating. The short nature of the climbing coupled with copious protection means the routes aren't too serious, so even repeated failure couldn't dim everyone's good spirits. We carried this into the evening which we spent in the company of some of Otleys greatest musical luminaries. I'm not sure how often wee pubs in Otley experience crowd surfing, but the band seemed to enjoy having some Yummick appreciation.
Sunday's venue was a spectacularly sunny Almscliffe, another notoriously brutal arena. I managed to avoid anything too strenuous by virtue of meeting most of the people I know in Yorkshire at the crag. Even my mum made an appearance, and confronted her fear of heights by making her way to the top of the High Man - well done mum!
Spending a day in the sunshine at Almscliffe is a splendid way to while away a Sunday, aqnd there's plenty of bouldering and more amenable routes to go at if you want to avoid a spanking. Nevertheless, my hands appear to have been abraded to stumps and my knees are sporting some impressive bruises (a sure sign of good technique).
What a splendid weekend!
And so this weekend I found myself down in Yorkshire with the EUMC, who are a rather splendid group of people even despite being students. Our aim was to go and play on the infamous Yorkshire Gritstone, which has a reputation for being steep, abrasive and just plain hard. It is all of these things, but it's also gooood.
Yesterday's efforts were concentrated at Cow & Calf rocks near Ilkley, which offer some splendid quarried grit a mere two minutes walk from the nearest ice cream outlet. Having been doing lots of indoor climbing recently I was hoping to display at least some proficiency on the rock, but no amount of plastic-pulling in multicolour dungeons can prepare you for the perplexing and brutal nature of the climbing there. The route are all quite short, but boy do they make you work. I hopped on a mega classic route straight away and got well and truly violated by it. Usually failing on a route (resting on the rope counts as cheating) feels like a big let-down, but the climbing was far too fun for me to care, and I feel like I learned something from it. Although I'm still not sure what.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of udging, jamming and sweating and I was relieved to see most of the others in the group receiving a good old beating. The short nature of the climbing coupled with copious protection means the routes aren't too serious, so even repeated failure couldn't dim everyone's good spirits. We carried this into the evening which we spent in the company of some of Otleys greatest musical luminaries. I'm not sure how often wee pubs in Otley experience crowd surfing, but the band seemed to enjoy having some Yummick appreciation.
Sunday's venue was a spectacularly sunny Almscliffe, another notoriously brutal arena. I managed to avoid anything too strenuous by virtue of meeting most of the people I know in Yorkshire at the crag. Even my mum made an appearance, and confronted her fear of heights by making her way to the top of the High Man - well done mum!
Spending a day in the sunshine at Almscliffe is a splendid way to while away a Sunday, aqnd there's plenty of bouldering and more amenable routes to go at if you want to avoid a spanking. Nevertheless, my hands appear to have been abraded to stumps and my knees are sporting some impressive bruises (a sure sign of good technique).
What a splendid weekend!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Inspiration
Guten Tag, readers.
Plenty of musings since the last instalment, so it's list-o-time!
- I have a shiny new computer. I like being able to send emails from my kitchen, and I can use the laptop and my old monitor together for dual-screen madness. I have crashed Windoze Vista a couple of times already though.
- This winter seems to be a tantalising mix of awful storms inter dispersed with the odd nice day (not on a weekend though). I actually got blown out of the Northern Corries of Cairngorm on Sunday, and then discovered that if you're not prepared to spend any money, Aviemore is a crap place to be.
- I'm loving my mountain bike more and more each time I use it. I definitely feel like my bike skills are improving (albeit still rudimentary), and I'm starting to get a bit more from jumps and whatnot. I think some body armour might be in order.
- Still on a mountain bike theme - if you ride mountain bikes then you HAVE to go to Kirroughtree (one of the 7stanes). You'll know why when you go.
- I had my sister up to visit recently. The highlight was coming home from the climbing wall to find she'd cooked up an incredible ratatouille with baked mackerel. It was even better than the nice meal she took us out for at Sweet Melindas the following evening (although that may be a virtue of the timing).
- I managed to lose about a stone in weight in the space of three weeks. I'd try to sell my techniques to a health magazine, but I think I might struggle selling the concept of shivering the weight off on a belay ledge to middle aged women.
- In the lsat 2 weeks I have broken two bike wheels. Smashy smashy.
You need to hear these tunes:
1. Hot Chip - Shake a Fist
2. Modeselektor - 20000007
3. Two Gallants - Drive my Car
4. Robyn - Konichiwa Bitches
5. Half Man Half Biscuit - Paintball's Coming Home
6. Dans le Sac vs Scroobius Pip - The Beat That My Heart Skipped
7. Holy Fuck - Lovely Allen
8. Amiina - Seoul
Take it easy folks!
Plenty of musings since the last instalment, so it's list-o-time!
- I have a shiny new computer. I like being able to send emails from my kitchen, and I can use the laptop and my old monitor together for dual-screen madness. I have crashed Windoze Vista a couple of times already though.
- This winter seems to be a tantalising mix of awful storms inter dispersed with the odd nice day (not on a weekend though). I actually got blown out of the Northern Corries of Cairngorm on Sunday, and then discovered that if you're not prepared to spend any money, Aviemore is a crap place to be.
- I'm loving my mountain bike more and more each time I use it. I definitely feel like my bike skills are improving (albeit still rudimentary), and I'm starting to get a bit more from jumps and whatnot. I think some body armour might be in order.
- Still on a mountain bike theme - if you ride mountain bikes then you HAVE to go to Kirroughtree (one of the 7stanes). You'll know why when you go.
- I had my sister up to visit recently. The highlight was coming home from the climbing wall to find she'd cooked up an incredible ratatouille with baked mackerel. It was even better than the nice meal she took us out for at Sweet Melindas the following evening (although that may be a virtue of the timing).
- I managed to lose about a stone in weight in the space of three weeks. I'd try to sell my techniques to a health magazine, but I think I might struggle selling the concept of shivering the weight off on a belay ledge to middle aged women.
- In the lsat 2 weeks I have broken two bike wheels. Smashy smashy.
You need to hear these tunes:
1. Hot Chip - Shake a Fist
2. Modeselektor - 20000007
3. Two Gallants - Drive my Car
4. Robyn - Konichiwa Bitches
5. Half Man Half Biscuit - Paintball's Coming Home
6. Dans le Sac vs Scroobius Pip - The Beat That My Heart Skipped
7. Holy Fuck - Lovely Allen
8. Amiina - Seoul
Take it easy folks!
Friday, January 04, 2008
2007 questions
Well, it's that time of year again that everyone reflects on the year that has been, and I grumble that it's no different to any other time of year, blah blah blah. And then join in, because it's fun. So I've stolen one of those Q&A things from my sister's blog to make up for the fact that I have no imagination (cut me some slack, though, I am full of germs at the mo).
1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Alpine climbing. I didn't get the bug though.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I'm too much of a grumpus to make resolutions most of the time but I do have some goals for this year that mainly include doing more rock climbing and maybe learn to swim properly. Oh, and to get the hell out of DullLabHell and train for a proper career.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, and they got afterbirth all over my shoes.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Auntie Leah died, but she'd had a good innings.
5. What countries did you visit?
Went to France for a bit (and Italy for an evening) but mostly explored Scotland even more. I'd almost count the Western Isles as a different country.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More dry rock in the mountains please. And more holiday time to spend there.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I never remember the dates of anything, really but there's a few days that will stay with me forever. Completing the Cuillin traverse on Skye was a very special day, as was climbing Point Five Gully on Ben Nevis in beautiful blue-sky conditions.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not making a mess of the relationship with my girlfriend. Best thing I've ever done.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not passing my driving test. Several times.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of cold/flu malarkey and some tooth-related bother but nothing to moan about.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My mountain bike. Mountain biking has become a big part of my life this year, and no one item that I own provides so much by way of fun and freedom. Worth every penny and more.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Amongst others, Del, Radiohead and my Sis.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My work colleagues. I've never met such a bunch of uninspired, lazy and just plain self-obsessed people. I could go on about it for hours but it depresses me too much that people like that exist in such great number.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bikes, food, council tax, travelling.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Riding my bikes fast over things and music from Iceland.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
CSS - Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Rock climbing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Driving lessons
20. How did you be spend New Year?
Edinburgh Hogmanay street party. Party was a bit rubbish but I had fun with my friends nontheless
21.Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My girlfriend. Hooray for Orange's Magic Numbers
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yep. Right up to my neck
23. How many one-night stands?
Nil
24. What were your favourite TV programs?
Flight of the Conchords, Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe and The Late Edition. I am a BBC4 whore.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nobody springs to mind
26. What was the best book you read?
To Kill A Mockingbird. It's the first time I've read it since I studied it for GCSE and I actually enjoyed it this time
27. What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Amiina, The Album Leaf, Holy Fuck, The Octopus Project, Dans le Sac vs Scroobius Pip, Efterklang, Malcolm Middleton, The National, Fujiya & Miyagi, CSS, Adjágas.
I listened to a LOT of music this year.
28. What did you want and get?
A mountain bike.
29. What did you want and not get?
A driving license.
30. What were your favourite films of this year?
This Is England and Heima
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went bouldering in Glen Nevis. I'm 27 now.
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A more comfortable bike saddle. Less rain.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
'Mostly appropriate'
34. What kept you sane?
In no order: Music, my girlfriend and the wild places in Scotland.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A tie between Lovefoxxxxx from CSS and Elliot from Scrubs.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Too many to mention.
37. Who did you miss?
My girlfriend
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Nobody springs to mind
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007
That no matter how well/badly things are going in your life there's always time for the simple pleasure of pedalling a bicycle.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Alpine climbing. I didn't get the bug though.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I'm too much of a grumpus to make resolutions most of the time but I do have some goals for this year that mainly include doing more rock climbing and maybe learn to swim properly. Oh, and to get the hell out of DullLabHell and train for a proper career.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, and they got afterbirth all over my shoes.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Auntie Leah died, but she'd had a good innings.
5. What countries did you visit?
Went to France for a bit (and Italy for an evening) but mostly explored Scotland even more. I'd almost count the Western Isles as a different country.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More dry rock in the mountains please. And more holiday time to spend there.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I never remember the dates of anything, really but there's a few days that will stay with me forever. Completing the Cuillin traverse on Skye was a very special day, as was climbing Point Five Gully on Ben Nevis in beautiful blue-sky conditions.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not making a mess of the relationship with my girlfriend. Best thing I've ever done.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not passing my driving test. Several times.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of cold/flu malarkey and some tooth-related bother but nothing to moan about.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My mountain bike. Mountain biking has become a big part of my life this year, and no one item that I own provides so much by way of fun and freedom. Worth every penny and more.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Amongst others, Del, Radiohead and my Sis.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My work colleagues. I've never met such a bunch of uninspired, lazy and just plain self-obsessed people. I could go on about it for hours but it depresses me too much that people like that exist in such great number.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bikes, food, council tax, travelling.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Riding my bikes fast over things and music from Iceland.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
CSS - Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Rock climbing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Driving lessons
20. How did you be spend New Year?
Edinburgh Hogmanay street party. Party was a bit rubbish but I had fun with my friends nontheless
21.Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My girlfriend. Hooray for Orange's Magic Numbers
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yep. Right up to my neck
23. How many one-night stands?
Nil
24. What were your favourite TV programs?
Flight of the Conchords, Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe and The Late Edition. I am a BBC4 whore.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nobody springs to mind
26. What was the best book you read?
To Kill A Mockingbird. It's the first time I've read it since I studied it for GCSE and I actually enjoyed it this time
27. What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Amiina, The Album Leaf, Holy Fuck, The Octopus Project, Dans le Sac vs Scroobius Pip, Efterklang, Malcolm Middleton, The National, Fujiya & Miyagi, CSS, Adjágas.
I listened to a LOT of music this year.
28. What did you want and get?
A mountain bike.
29. What did you want and not get?
A driving license.
30. What were your favourite films of this year?
This Is England and Heima
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went bouldering in Glen Nevis. I'm 27 now.
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A more comfortable bike saddle. Less rain.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
'Mostly appropriate'
34. What kept you sane?
In no order: Music, my girlfriend and the wild places in Scotland.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A tie between Lovefoxxxxx from CSS and Elliot from Scrubs.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Too many to mention.
37. Who did you miss?
My girlfriend
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Nobody springs to mind
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007
That no matter how well/badly things are going in your life there's always time for the simple pleasure of pedalling a bicycle.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
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