What with a combination of being a weakling and easily frightened as a child, I didn't learn to ride a bike until I was about 8 or 9 years old. When I did finally learn, I spent months in a state of permanent bruisedness - unable to operate the brakes properly I tended to use walls and trees to stop.
Not much has changed on that front (I spent last weekend crashing expensive Demo bikes) but I now appear, according to Bike Snob NYC blog, to qualify as a proper cyclist:
1) A “cyclist” rides a bike even when he or she does not have to.
Aside from the fact that I could easily catch the bus to work each day instead of the 6 mile grind, I'm not sure I could ever pass off a trip to Glen Tress as 'necessary'.
2) A “cyclist” is someone who owns a floor pump.
Damn right I do, and I am secretly suspicious of anyone who doesn't know what pressure their bike tyres are at.
Anyway, reading BSNYC's post about the nature of cycling I'm inspired to blurt my own musings about the joy of two tyred transport:
Zoooom
Remember the scenes in Return of the Jedi where they're on those nifty wee speeder things going through the forest? Remember wanting to join in the fun? Go maountain biking, and ride as fast as you can - it's pretty much the same thing. (Riding road bikes fast is fun too, but harder to describe.)
Calories Out >> Calories In
Anyone who eats as much cake as me should be a massive fatty. No prizes for guessing why I'm not.
Shiny
I'm as prone as many to succumbing to the lure of sexy carbon fibre thrunge brackets and rotary combobulators, but bike porn is a fairly shallow enjoyment. What's far more satisfying about bikes is their sheer simplicity. Even a doofus like me can understand how they work, and indeed fix them. You barely notice when you're riding a well designed and well maintained bike because you're having too much fun.
Pretty
You can use a bike to get to places you'd never bother walking to or that you'd just just speed through in a car.
Lycra
Ok, maybe not.
So, what to listen to while pondering such things?
Why, bikeforthree! of course!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Lazy Holiday Post.
Whup whup whup.
Here's what happened when I went to font with Sam.
- I got delayed on the Eurostar by a bunch of people demonstrating at Gare de Nord. Was then greeted by a bunch of heavily armed riot cops upon arrival so went to hide in a kebab shop for a bit.
- All the car hire firms in France only take credit cards for deposit. As a result we managed to reduce the carbon footprint of our trip dramatically and also got to experience the excellent Paris public transport system. We also spent far more time than we otherwise would have walking through the forest, which was a rather pleasant experience.
- We ate cheese.
- We met some great people at the campsite, including some very loud geordies and some very committed climbing bums. Makes me wish I had a shitload of money and no direction in life so that I could spend months at a time wearing my skin away.
- Asked/was asked the question 'How are you tips?' repeatedly.
- Sam got things living in his ears and trying to eat through to his brains.
- I took a few photos.
- I learned that if you can't speak much French, you can often get away by using english words in a gay accent. I also learned that if you ask people if they speak english they'll say no, but if you try to speak french badly they'll just speak english.
- Cheese.
- I climbed so much I gave myself tendonitis in my elbows. I think everybody gets it.
- I 'slept' on the platform at Fontainebleau station and swore at every TGV. They are loud in a way that bruises your mind.
- I'll go back again, but yearn for a more adventurous holiday now.
Here's what happened when I went to font with Sam.
- I got delayed on the Eurostar by a bunch of people demonstrating at Gare de Nord. Was then greeted by a bunch of heavily armed riot cops upon arrival so went to hide in a kebab shop for a bit.
- All the car hire firms in France only take credit cards for deposit. As a result we managed to reduce the carbon footprint of our trip dramatically and also got to experience the excellent Paris public transport system. We also spent far more time than we otherwise would have walking through the forest, which was a rather pleasant experience.
- We ate cheese.
- We met some great people at the campsite, including some very loud geordies and some very committed climbing bums. Makes me wish I had a shitload of money and no direction in life so that I could spend months at a time wearing my skin away.
- Asked/was asked the question 'How are you tips?' repeatedly.
- Sam got things living in his ears and trying to eat through to his brains.
- I took a few photos.
- I learned that if you can't speak much French, you can often get away by using english words in a gay accent. I also learned that if you ask people if they speak english they'll say no, but if you try to speak french badly they'll just speak english.
- Cheese.
- I climbed so much I gave myself tendonitis in my elbows. I think everybody gets it.
- I 'slept' on the platform at Fontainebleau station and swore at every TGV. They are loud in a way that bruises your mind.
- I'll go back again, but yearn for a more adventurous holiday now.
Thursday, April 03, 2008
A Whole Pack of Jaffa Cakes (And Other Stories)
I heart lists:
- Just spent today with my lady cycling through the East Neuk of Fife. Lowlights included strong winds, misleading cycleway signs and the advent of Kircaldy. Highlights included glorious coastline, nice wee villages, The Best Chip Shop In All Of Christendom (or whatever) and some mild sunburn. Not a bad way to spend one's time.
- I have tickets to see Radiohead at Glasgow Green in June. I'm not usually a fan of big gigs like that, but it is Radiohead, so I'm bound to like it. I even like Amnesiac ferchrissakes. Excitement is not the word for it.
- Speaking of excitement - DUUUHHHH DUNNNA DUNNN DUNNN DUUUUUUH KILLING IN THE NAME OF! I may also have Reading tickets too. So I get to see Rage Against The Machine. It makes me want to travel back in time to meet teenage Stevious and tell him it'll all work out in the end. Not sure how I'm going to cope with the sea of angsty teenagers (although I suspect that's something I'll have to get used to).
- There's still plenty of snow and ice in the mountains. And the days are longer. Nice.
- I conducted an experiment on the relative toughness of my knee versus the ground at Glen Tress. Whilst I did make an impressive furrow in the mud, I feel that it might be gone by now whereas I predict the scabs on my knee will still be there when I'm 40.
- Ferric refers to compounds containing Iron in its +3 oxidation state, whereas Ferrous refers to the +2 oxidation state.
- Foals are at number 2 (or was it three? something like that) in the UK album charts AND THEY'RE A MATH-ROCK BAND. Great.
- In the time it took me to write this post I have eaten a whole packet of Jaffa Cakes. Feel free to salute me next time you see me.
- Just spent today with my lady cycling through the East Neuk of Fife. Lowlights included strong winds, misleading cycleway signs and the advent of Kircaldy. Highlights included glorious coastline, nice wee villages, The Best Chip Shop In All Of Christendom (or whatever) and some mild sunburn. Not a bad way to spend one's time.
- I have tickets to see Radiohead at Glasgow Green in June. I'm not usually a fan of big gigs like that, but it is Radiohead, so I'm bound to like it. I even like Amnesiac ferchrissakes. Excitement is not the word for it.
- Speaking of excitement - DUUUHHHH DUNNNA DUNNN DUNNN DUUUUUUH KILLING IN THE NAME OF! I may also have Reading tickets too. So I get to see Rage Against The Machine. It makes me want to travel back in time to meet teenage Stevious and tell him it'll all work out in the end. Not sure how I'm going to cope with the sea of angsty teenagers (although I suspect that's something I'll have to get used to).
- There's still plenty of snow and ice in the mountains. And the days are longer. Nice.
- I conducted an experiment on the relative toughness of my knee versus the ground at Glen Tress. Whilst I did make an impressive furrow in the mud, I feel that it might be gone by now whereas I predict the scabs on my knee will still be there when I'm 40.
- Ferric refers to compounds containing Iron in its +3 oxidation state, whereas Ferrous refers to the +2 oxidation state.
- Foals are at number 2 (or was it three? something like that) in the UK album charts AND THEY'RE A MATH-ROCK BAND. Great.
- In the time it took me to write this post I have eaten a whole packet of Jaffa Cakes. Feel free to salute me next time you see me.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Contrast
Well, the mighty borough of Lochaber was a far different prospect at the weekend than my last visit.
I stayed in a wee cottage in Duror with a whole international melange of folk, many of whom were yet to experience the highlands. The highlands didn't disappoint, showing an uncharacteristic tendency towards clement weather and providing japes a-plenty for first-time climbers.
On Sat I plodded up Observatory Ridge with Manjoe. It's a superb route with wonderfully varied climbing, although finding protection and belays was time consuming. Joe deserves maximum hero points for leading the first pitch with nary a bit of gear betwixt myself and he. Here's some photos:
After a late start on Sunday we headed for Scotland's Most Photographed Mountain™, Buchaille Etive Mor. Being a (relatively) small hill, it provides the option of a short day, and routes such as North Buttress and Curved Ridge providing fun in any condition.
On arriving at the base of curved ridge I was surprised to see the number of people who were inappropriately equipped for the climbing. The lower sections of rock were somewhat bare, making axes and crampons more hindrance than help, yet there were several parties struggling their way up in full ice-climbing regalia. You really do have to worry about some folk when a numpty like me can exhibit more common sense than them.
The ridge was wintrier higher up, becoming somewhat of a snowy staircase. The views across Rannoch Moor from there are mindblowing, though, and the company was good fun so there were many larks to be had as we romped to the top. More Photos:
I can't help but feel that the days of great weather were well deserved after so many soggy trudges this year. I suppose that one of the great things about Scottish climbing is that when the days of great weather come along, they seem so much sweeter than, say in the alps where good weather is more common. Here's to hoping for a few more sunny weekends before the winter expires!
I stayed in a wee cottage in Duror with a whole international melange of folk, many of whom were yet to experience the highlands. The highlands didn't disappoint, showing an uncharacteristic tendency towards clement weather and providing japes a-plenty for first-time climbers.
On Sat I plodded up Observatory Ridge with Manjoe. It's a superb route with wonderfully varied climbing, although finding protection and belays was time consuming. Joe deserves maximum hero points for leading the first pitch with nary a bit of gear betwixt myself and he. Here's some photos:
After a late start on Sunday we headed for Scotland's Most Photographed Mountain™, Buchaille Etive Mor. Being a (relatively) small hill, it provides the option of a short day, and routes such as North Buttress and Curved Ridge providing fun in any condition.
On arriving at the base of curved ridge I was surprised to see the number of people who were inappropriately equipped for the climbing. The lower sections of rock were somewhat bare, making axes and crampons more hindrance than help, yet there were several parties struggling their way up in full ice-climbing regalia. You really do have to worry about some folk when a numpty like me can exhibit more common sense than them.
The ridge was wintrier higher up, becoming somewhat of a snowy staircase. The views across Rannoch Moor from there are mindblowing, though, and the company was good fun so there were many larks to be had as we romped to the top. More Photos:
I can't help but feel that the days of great weather were well deserved after so many soggy trudges this year. I suppose that one of the great things about Scottish climbing is that when the days of great weather come along, they seem so much sweeter than, say in the alps where good weather is more common. Here's to hoping for a few more sunny weekends before the winter expires!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Aaalriiight.
I had an interview just over a week ago. It went a bit like this:
Ok, so it was for secondary teaching, but I got the place anyway. Go Me!
Ok, so it was for secondary teaching, but I got the place anyway. Go Me!Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Lochaber Winter Trip - Day Four
Mr Blue Sky
Please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?
Today the ming was in full effect here in the West so we busted a move over to the Cairngorms. Alex and I decided to go and have a poke at the mega-classic Route Major on Carn Etchecan, which lies over in the Loch Avon basin.
The basin is a truly spectacular place - just the promise of a glimpse of the deep blue loch being towered over by Shelterstone crag is enough to carry me through the slog over the cairngorm plateau. And the climbing there is incredible.
Unfortunately, our route finding skills were left lacking today, so we ended up 'new routing' and climbing ourselves into a bit of a corner. One very awkward abseil later and we were back on the corrie floor. Curses, foiled again.
Nevertheless, Mr Blue sky made an appearance, so there were views like these:
Not all was lost, then, and after a quick ascent of a rather spindrifty Castle Gates Gully we high-tailed it across the plateau, bumping into Gaz and Jones on the way:
So, another potentially frustrating day on the hill, but the climbing we did do was fun and the views were well worth it. Just goes to show that the odd bout of shitty weather and a case of incompetence needn't necessarily ruin a day out.
Please tell us why
You had to hide away for so long
Where did we go wrong?
Today the ming was in full effect here in the West so we busted a move over to the Cairngorms. Alex and I decided to go and have a poke at the mega-classic Route Major on Carn Etchecan, which lies over in the Loch Avon basin.
The basin is a truly spectacular place - just the promise of a glimpse of the deep blue loch being towered over by Shelterstone crag is enough to carry me through the slog over the cairngorm plateau. And the climbing there is incredible.
Unfortunately, our route finding skills were left lacking today, so we ended up 'new routing' and climbing ourselves into a bit of a corner. One very awkward abseil later and we were back on the corrie floor. Curses, foiled again.
Nevertheless, Mr Blue sky made an appearance, so there were views like these:
Not all was lost, then, and after a quick ascent of a rather spindrifty Castle Gates Gully we high-tailed it across the plateau, bumping into Gaz and Jones on the way:
So, another potentially frustrating day on the hill, but the climbing we did do was fun and the views were well worth it. Just goes to show that the odd bout of shitty weather and a case of incompetence needn't necessarily ruin a day out.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Lochaber Winter Trip - Day Three
What happened to 'The Storm of the Winter?' We didn't see much of it up here.
Nevertheless, it seemed like a good excuse for a lie-in so today we explored the limits of human tea consumption. And popped down to the Ice Factor in Kinlochleven to play on the dry-tooling wall. It's a mildly terrifying pursuit, as you're always worried that you're going to hit yourself in the face with an ice-axe, but 'tis still a lark.
Off east tomorrow, and who knows, we might even see a break in the clouds.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Lochaber Winter Trip - Day Two
Another 5.45 start today, although leaving bed was made easier this morning by the absence of a screaming blizzard hitting the window. Nevertheless, the weather was still on the 'unsettled' side, so we all knew we were in for some good, honest Scottish Winter Ming.
In previous years the walk-in to Ben Nevis has started with the most unpleasant excuse for a path you can think of. It's a bog, and it's steep so it takes about 3 times the energy to climb than a normal path. Fortunately, our good friends in the Forestry Commission have built a new path through the forest which is not only shorter, but immeasurably better surfaced so it's a dream to ascend. It's still quite steep (what do you expect? You're climbing Ben Nevis ffs), but today it felt like a gift from a benevolent. smiling lumberjack. Hooray for that.
Myself and Jo decided to head for the mega-classic North East Buttress via the Slingsby's chimney start. The chimney itself is supposed to be trivially easy in good condition, but we found it plastered with soft, useless snow making progress time-consuming and tenuous. There were many emotional moments, and that section of the route took far longer than we expected but to top that all off, the weather turned seriously unpleasant as I topped out. Lukcily only my nose knew it was winter:
The voice of common sense blew in on the wind and told us to get the fluff off the hill so that we did. Backing off a route can be frustrating, but a big part of the whole climbing game is knowing when to throw in the towel and head for the warm glow of civilisation.
Tomorrow looks like a bit of a storm is hitting, so it's time to hunker down with a bumper box of tea bags and a foot long battenberg. All the ice high up is fattening, so there's likely to be some sport later in the week. Until then, it's loafing time.
In previous years the walk-in to Ben Nevis has started with the most unpleasant excuse for a path you can think of. It's a bog, and it's steep so it takes about 3 times the energy to climb than a normal path. Fortunately, our good friends in the Forestry Commission have built a new path through the forest which is not only shorter, but immeasurably better surfaced so it's a dream to ascend. It's still quite steep (what do you expect? You're climbing Ben Nevis ffs), but today it felt like a gift from a benevolent. smiling lumberjack. Hooray for that.
Myself and Jo decided to head for the mega-classic North East Buttress via the Slingsby's chimney start. The chimney itself is supposed to be trivially easy in good condition, but we found it plastered with soft, useless snow making progress time-consuming and tenuous. There were many emotional moments, and that section of the route took far longer than we expected but to top that all off, the weather turned seriously unpleasant as I topped out. Lukcily only my nose knew it was winter:
The voice of common sense blew in on the wind and told us to get the fluff off the hill so that we did. Backing off a route can be frustrating, but a big part of the whole climbing game is knowing when to throw in the towel and head for the warm glow of civilisation.
Tomorrow looks like a bit of a storm is hitting, so it's time to hunker down with a bumper box of tea bags and a foot long battenberg. All the ice high up is fattening, so there's likely to be some sport later in the week. Until then, it's loafing time.
Saturday, March 08, 2008
Lochaber Winter Trip - Day One
I'm 10metres from my last piece of gear and I'm starting to feel the burn in my arms. I've finally found that clump of hero turf to sink my ice axes and relax. Just a few moments of scratching and faffing until I can make myself safe and then continue to the sweet sanctuary of the ledge above. I think I can feel my axes move, but I put it to the back of my mind as I search for the fissure I need. The next thing I see is my adze flying towards my face - SHIIIIIIIIII.....
*BEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP*
I'm gasping awake, tongue glued to the roof of my mouth with the taste of stale adrenaline. It's 5.45am and I've been nightmaring about the dreaded winter climbing fall again. Now I have to face the very real nightmare that can be the winter climbing walk-in. Time to chomp down some oats and head for the hills.
Fast forward and hour, and we're still sat in the car in the Ben Nevis car park. It's truly apocalyptic outside, and we're not even considering braving the maelstrom. It's another wash-out.
And so, I've spent the first of my 5 days up here in Lochaber sat in a Polo listening to Austrian Scheisse Rock and swinging around Fort William's premier technicolour dungeon:
Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
*BEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEP*
I'm gasping awake, tongue glued to the roof of my mouth with the taste of stale adrenaline. It's 5.45am and I've been nightmaring about the dreaded winter climbing fall again. Now I have to face the very real nightmare that can be the winter climbing walk-in. Time to chomp down some oats and head for the hills.
Fast forward and hour, and we're still sat in the car in the Ben Nevis car park. It's truly apocalyptic outside, and we're not even considering braving the maelstrom. It's another wash-out.
And so, I've spent the first of my 5 days up here in Lochaber sat in a Polo listening to Austrian Scheisse Rock and swinging around Fort William's premier technicolour dungeon:
Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Quick update
I've updated the links and whatnot over on the right. Doesn't that look better now?
If I've inadvertant;y missed you off and you'd like listing let me know.
If I've inadvertant;y missed you off and you'd like listing let me know.
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Bikes + Sun = Fun
I defy anyone to ride the trails at Glen Tress in the sunshine and not grin like a fool.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Abrasion
When the weather forecasts all say 'Freezing level well above summits' for several days, there are a few ways a climber can deal with the sense of impending doom. You can go and walk around in the slush on the hills, shaking your fist at the godless sky screaming 'WHY?!?!', then drink yourself into a coma until springtime. Or you can go to Englandshire and climb on some nice, sunny rocks.
And so this weekend I found myself down in Yorkshire with the EUMC, who are a rather splendid group of people even despite being students. Our aim was to go and play on the infamous Yorkshire Gritstone, which has a reputation for being steep, abrasive and just plain hard. It is all of these things, but it's also gooood.
Yesterday's efforts were concentrated at Cow & Calf rocks near Ilkley, which offer some splendid quarried grit a mere two minutes walk from the nearest ice cream outlet. Having been doing lots of indoor climbing recently I was hoping to display at least some proficiency on the rock, but no amount of plastic-pulling in multicolour dungeons can prepare you for the perplexing and brutal nature of the climbing there. The route are all quite short, but boy do they make you work. I hopped on a mega classic route straight away and got well and truly violated by it. Usually failing on a route (resting on the rope counts as cheating) feels like a big let-down, but the climbing was far too fun for me to care, and I feel like I learned something from it. Although I'm still not sure what.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of udging, jamming and sweating and I was relieved to see most of the others in the group receiving a good old beating. The short nature of the climbing coupled with copious protection means the routes aren't too serious, so even repeated failure couldn't dim everyone's good spirits. We carried this into the evening which we spent in the company of some of Otleys greatest musical luminaries. I'm not sure how often wee pubs in Otley experience crowd surfing, but the band seemed to enjoy having some Yummick appreciation.
Sunday's venue was a spectacularly sunny Almscliffe, another notoriously brutal arena. I managed to avoid anything too strenuous by virtue of meeting most of the people I know in Yorkshire at the crag. Even my mum made an appearance, and confronted her fear of heights by making her way to the top of the High Man - well done mum!
Spending a day in the sunshine at Almscliffe is a splendid way to while away a Sunday, aqnd there's plenty of bouldering and more amenable routes to go at if you want to avoid a spanking. Nevertheless, my hands appear to have been abraded to stumps and my knees are sporting some impressive bruises (a sure sign of good technique).
What a splendid weekend!
And so this weekend I found myself down in Yorkshire with the EUMC, who are a rather splendid group of people even despite being students. Our aim was to go and play on the infamous Yorkshire Gritstone, which has a reputation for being steep, abrasive and just plain hard. It is all of these things, but it's also gooood.
Yesterday's efforts were concentrated at Cow & Calf rocks near Ilkley, which offer some splendid quarried grit a mere two minutes walk from the nearest ice cream outlet. Having been doing lots of indoor climbing recently I was hoping to display at least some proficiency on the rock, but no amount of plastic-pulling in multicolour dungeons can prepare you for the perplexing and brutal nature of the climbing there. The route are all quite short, but boy do they make you work. I hopped on a mega classic route straight away and got well and truly violated by it. Usually failing on a route (resting on the rope counts as cheating) feels like a big let-down, but the climbing was far too fun for me to care, and I feel like I learned something from it. Although I'm still not sure what.
The rest of the day passed in a blur of udging, jamming and sweating and I was relieved to see most of the others in the group receiving a good old beating. The short nature of the climbing coupled with copious protection means the routes aren't too serious, so even repeated failure couldn't dim everyone's good spirits. We carried this into the evening which we spent in the company of some of Otleys greatest musical luminaries. I'm not sure how often wee pubs in Otley experience crowd surfing, but the band seemed to enjoy having some Yummick appreciation.
Sunday's venue was a spectacularly sunny Almscliffe, another notoriously brutal arena. I managed to avoid anything too strenuous by virtue of meeting most of the people I know in Yorkshire at the crag. Even my mum made an appearance, and confronted her fear of heights by making her way to the top of the High Man - well done mum!
Spending a day in the sunshine at Almscliffe is a splendid way to while away a Sunday, aqnd there's plenty of bouldering and more amenable routes to go at if you want to avoid a spanking. Nevertheless, my hands appear to have been abraded to stumps and my knees are sporting some impressive bruises (a sure sign of good technique).
What a splendid weekend!
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Inspiration
Guten Tag, readers.
Plenty of musings since the last instalment, so it's list-o-time!
- I have a shiny new computer. I like being able to send emails from my kitchen, and I can use the laptop and my old monitor together for dual-screen madness. I have crashed Windoze Vista a couple of times already though.
- This winter seems to be a tantalising mix of awful storms inter dispersed with the odd nice day (not on a weekend though). I actually got blown out of the Northern Corries of Cairngorm on Sunday, and then discovered that if you're not prepared to spend any money, Aviemore is a crap place to be.
- I'm loving my mountain bike more and more each time I use it. I definitely feel like my bike skills are improving (albeit still rudimentary), and I'm starting to get a bit more from jumps and whatnot. I think some body armour might be in order.
- Still on a mountain bike theme - if you ride mountain bikes then you HAVE to go to Kirroughtree (one of the 7stanes). You'll know why when you go.
- I had my sister up to visit recently. The highlight was coming home from the climbing wall to find she'd cooked up an incredible ratatouille with baked mackerel. It was even better than the nice meal she took us out for at Sweet Melindas the following evening (although that may be a virtue of the timing).
- I managed to lose about a stone in weight in the space of three weeks. I'd try to sell my techniques to a health magazine, but I think I might struggle selling the concept of shivering the weight off on a belay ledge to middle aged women.
- In the lsat 2 weeks I have broken two bike wheels. Smashy smashy.
You need to hear these tunes:
1. Hot Chip - Shake a Fist
2. Modeselektor - 20000007
3. Two Gallants - Drive my Car
4. Robyn - Konichiwa Bitches
5. Half Man Half Biscuit - Paintball's Coming Home
6. Dans le Sac vs Scroobius Pip - The Beat That My Heart Skipped
7. Holy Fuck - Lovely Allen
8. Amiina - Seoul
Take it easy folks!
Plenty of musings since the last instalment, so it's list-o-time!
- I have a shiny new computer. I like being able to send emails from my kitchen, and I can use the laptop and my old monitor together for dual-screen madness. I have crashed Windoze Vista a couple of times already though.
- This winter seems to be a tantalising mix of awful storms inter dispersed with the odd nice day (not on a weekend though). I actually got blown out of the Northern Corries of Cairngorm on Sunday, and then discovered that if you're not prepared to spend any money, Aviemore is a crap place to be.
- I'm loving my mountain bike more and more each time I use it. I definitely feel like my bike skills are improving (albeit still rudimentary), and I'm starting to get a bit more from jumps and whatnot. I think some body armour might be in order.
- Still on a mountain bike theme - if you ride mountain bikes then you HAVE to go to Kirroughtree (one of the 7stanes). You'll know why when you go.
- I had my sister up to visit recently. The highlight was coming home from the climbing wall to find she'd cooked up an incredible ratatouille with baked mackerel. It was even better than the nice meal she took us out for at Sweet Melindas the following evening (although that may be a virtue of the timing).
- I managed to lose about a stone in weight in the space of three weeks. I'd try to sell my techniques to a health magazine, but I think I might struggle selling the concept of shivering the weight off on a belay ledge to middle aged women.
- In the lsat 2 weeks I have broken two bike wheels. Smashy smashy.
You need to hear these tunes:
1. Hot Chip - Shake a Fist
2. Modeselektor - 20000007
3. Two Gallants - Drive my Car
4. Robyn - Konichiwa Bitches
5. Half Man Half Biscuit - Paintball's Coming Home
6. Dans le Sac vs Scroobius Pip - The Beat That My Heart Skipped
7. Holy Fuck - Lovely Allen
8. Amiina - Seoul
Take it easy folks!
Friday, January 04, 2008
2007 questions
Well, it's that time of year again that everyone reflects on the year that has been, and I grumble that it's no different to any other time of year, blah blah blah. And then join in, because it's fun. So I've stolen one of those Q&A things from my sister's blog to make up for the fact that I have no imagination (cut me some slack, though, I am full of germs at the mo).
1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Alpine climbing. I didn't get the bug though.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I'm too much of a grumpus to make resolutions most of the time but I do have some goals for this year that mainly include doing more rock climbing and maybe learn to swim properly. Oh, and to get the hell out of DullLabHell and train for a proper career.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, and they got afterbirth all over my shoes.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Auntie Leah died, but she'd had a good innings.
5. What countries did you visit?
Went to France for a bit (and Italy for an evening) but mostly explored Scotland even more. I'd almost count the Western Isles as a different country.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More dry rock in the mountains please. And more holiday time to spend there.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I never remember the dates of anything, really but there's a few days that will stay with me forever. Completing the Cuillin traverse on Skye was a very special day, as was climbing Point Five Gully on Ben Nevis in beautiful blue-sky conditions.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not making a mess of the relationship with my girlfriend. Best thing I've ever done.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not passing my driving test. Several times.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of cold/flu malarkey and some tooth-related bother but nothing to moan about.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My mountain bike. Mountain biking has become a big part of my life this year, and no one item that I own provides so much by way of fun and freedom. Worth every penny and more.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Amongst others, Del, Radiohead and my Sis.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My work colleagues. I've never met such a bunch of uninspired, lazy and just plain self-obsessed people. I could go on about it for hours but it depresses me too much that people like that exist in such great number.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bikes, food, council tax, travelling.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Riding my bikes fast over things and music from Iceland.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
CSS - Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Rock climbing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Driving lessons
20. How did you be spend New Year?
Edinburgh Hogmanay street party. Party was a bit rubbish but I had fun with my friends nontheless
21.Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My girlfriend. Hooray for Orange's Magic Numbers
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yep. Right up to my neck
23. How many one-night stands?
Nil
24. What were your favourite TV programs?
Flight of the Conchords, Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe and The Late Edition. I am a BBC4 whore.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nobody springs to mind
26. What was the best book you read?
To Kill A Mockingbird. It's the first time I've read it since I studied it for GCSE and I actually enjoyed it this time
27. What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Amiina, The Album Leaf, Holy Fuck, The Octopus Project, Dans le Sac vs Scroobius Pip, Efterklang, Malcolm Middleton, The National, Fujiya & Miyagi, CSS, Adjágas.
I listened to a LOT of music this year.
28. What did you want and get?
A mountain bike.
29. What did you want and not get?
A driving license.
30. What were your favourite films of this year?
This Is England and Heima
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went bouldering in Glen Nevis. I'm 27 now.
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A more comfortable bike saddle. Less rain.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
'Mostly appropriate'
34. What kept you sane?
In no order: Music, my girlfriend and the wild places in Scotland.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A tie between Lovefoxxxxx from CSS and Elliot from Scrubs.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Too many to mention.
37. Who did you miss?
My girlfriend
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Nobody springs to mind
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007
That no matter how well/badly things are going in your life there's always time for the simple pleasure of pedalling a bicycle.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
1.What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Alpine climbing. I didn't get the bug though.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I'm too much of a grumpus to make resolutions most of the time but I do have some goals for this year that mainly include doing more rock climbing and maybe learn to swim properly. Oh, and to get the hell out of DullLabHell and train for a proper career.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, and they got afterbirth all over my shoes.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Auntie Leah died, but she'd had a good innings.
5. What countries did you visit?
Went to France for a bit (and Italy for an evening) but mostly explored Scotland even more. I'd almost count the Western Isles as a different country.
6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More dry rock in the mountains please. And more holiday time to spend there.
7. What dates from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I never remember the dates of anything, really but there's a few days that will stay with me forever. Completing the Cuillin traverse on Skye was a very special day, as was climbing Point Five Gully on Ben Nevis in beautiful blue-sky conditions.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not making a mess of the relationship with my girlfriend. Best thing I've ever done.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not passing my driving test. Several times.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Lots of cold/flu malarkey and some tooth-related bother but nothing to moan about.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My mountain bike. Mountain biking has become a big part of my life this year, and no one item that I own provides so much by way of fun and freedom. Worth every penny and more.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Amongst others, Del, Radiohead and my Sis.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My work colleagues. I've never met such a bunch of uninspired, lazy and just plain self-obsessed people. I could go on about it for hours but it depresses me too much that people like that exist in such great number.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Bikes, food, council tax, travelling.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Riding my bikes fast over things and music from Iceland.
16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
CSS - Let's Make Love and Listen to Death From Above
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier
b) thinner or fatter? same
c) richer or poorer? same
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Rock climbing
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Driving lessons
20. How did you be spend New Year?
Edinburgh Hogmanay street party. Party was a bit rubbish but I had fun with my friends nontheless
21.Who did you spend the most time on the phone with?
My girlfriend. Hooray for Orange's Magic Numbers
22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yep. Right up to my neck
23. How many one-night stands?
Nil
24. What were your favourite TV programs?
Flight of the Conchords, Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe and The Late Edition. I am a BBC4 whore.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nobody springs to mind
26. What was the best book you read?
To Kill A Mockingbird. It's the first time I've read it since I studied it for GCSE and I actually enjoyed it this time
27. What were your greatest musical discoveries?
Amiina, The Album Leaf, Holy Fuck, The Octopus Project, Dans le Sac vs Scroobius Pip, Efterklang, Malcolm Middleton, The National, Fujiya & Miyagi, CSS, Adjágas.
I listened to a LOT of music this year.
28. What did you want and get?
A mountain bike.
29. What did you want and not get?
A driving license.
30. What were your favourite films of this year?
This Is England and Heima
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went bouldering in Glen Nevis. I'm 27 now.
32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
A more comfortable bike saddle. Less rain.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
'Mostly appropriate'
34. What kept you sane?
In no order: Music, my girlfriend and the wild places in Scotland.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
A tie between Lovefoxxxxx from CSS and Elliot from Scrubs.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Too many to mention.
37. Who did you miss?
My girlfriend
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Nobody springs to mind
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007
That no matter how well/badly things are going in your life there's always time for the simple pleasure of pedalling a bicycle.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Five Knuckle Shuffle
Well, I went winter climbing and survived - twice! More thoughts on that at a later date.
The real news is that Del finally received Shuffleathon CD I made for him (albeit in digital form due to postal ineptitude) and reviewed it here. Am rather pleased to say he liked it.
And now you too can be the judge as he's kindly hosted a zip file of the mixtape for you to download and enjoy.
Right click here and it's all yours!
The real news is that Del finally received Shuffleathon CD I made for him (albeit in digital form due to postal ineptitude) and reviewed it here. Am rather pleased to say he liked it.
And now you too can be the judge as he's kindly hosted a zip file of the mixtape for you to download and enjoy.
Right click here and it's all yours!
Saturday, November 24, 2007
First Frosts
November is usually a tense month for me. By this point the frustration of being pinned inside for months - too cold for rock climbing, too warm for winter climbing - has mounted to the point of near insanity. I'll spend hours each week peering at weather forecasts looking for that one word which will fill me with joy and fear: Snow.
Once the mountains put on their white winter coats, all manner of irrationality kicks in for climbers. Here it's all 3am wake-up calls, hours of torchlit walking, hot aches and frozen noses, all so we can scratch our way up some frosty rock with out ice axes. Great.
There's so much more to it than just a bit of climbing though. It really does feel like an escape heading into the hills in winter. The the subdued greys and blacks of everyday life are replaced by fresh, shocking white. The sound of godawful xmas music and delayed traffic replaced by the clank of metal on rock and the manic croaks of ptarmigan. When you return home at the end of the day, you do truly feel like you've been somewhere else. And also like eating all the food you can find.
This year's different. We've had the most beautiful autumn I can remember, and I've been lucky enough to keep myself active with my bikes, so I've not felt that frustration and yearning that usually overcomes me at this time of year. Have I lost my Winter Psyche?
Hell no. I'm getting up to go climbing in the cairngorms in about 3 hours.
And I'm bricking myself.
Once the mountains put on their white winter coats, all manner of irrationality kicks in for climbers. Here it's all 3am wake-up calls, hours of torchlit walking, hot aches and frozen noses, all so we can scratch our way up some frosty rock with out ice axes. Great.
There's so much more to it than just a bit of climbing though. It really does feel like an escape heading into the hills in winter. The the subdued greys and blacks of everyday life are replaced by fresh, shocking white. The sound of godawful xmas music and delayed traffic replaced by the clank of metal on rock and the manic croaks of ptarmigan. When you return home at the end of the day, you do truly feel like you've been somewhere else. And also like eating all the food you can find.
This year's different. We've had the most beautiful autumn I can remember, and I've been lucky enough to keep myself active with my bikes, so I've not felt that frustration and yearning that usually overcomes me at this time of year. Have I lost my Winter Psyche?
Hell no. I'm getting up to go climbing in the cairngorms in about 3 hours.
And I'm bricking myself.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
A List
No, not that one. It's spelled all different, innit?Here are some things:
- I went to see Battles again the other week. One of the best gigs ever. There was some impressive multi-instrumentalism, an incredibly high cymbal, loudness, a roomful of post-rock nerds dancing in 7/4 time and one of the best atmospheres I can remember. The Pigeon Detectives they aint. I urge you with every possible organ in my body to see them if you can.
- Give Blood. Not only do you get free biscuits, but a sense of smugness and achievement that would usually require some actual effort. Lots of biscuits.
- I'm beginning to think Buck 65 might be mankind's saviour. If you don't believe me then go to his website and download the Dirty Work EP for free. Track 2 may just be one of my favourite songs EVER. Ever.
- Bikes. Yeah!
- Isn't it a great autumn? Have been out in the hills a bit this past few weeks and it's even more stunning than most autumns. Must be payback for such a soggy summer.
- In the year 2000 there are no more elephants but also no more unethical treatment of elephants.
- I have completed and sent off my Shuffleathon 2007 CD. Each and every song makes me smile like a fool. Can't wait to see the review.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Electric Bogle-oo
Last week I promised tales of further Derring-Do. Well, I was going to write about completing the Cuillin Ridge traverse on Skye, but Sam's pretty much summed it up in words, and Rik's got pretty photos up too. All I can really add to that is how chuffed I am to have completed one of Scotland's best mountaineering challenges in good time, with good weather and with good company. It really is a spectacular day (or two) out.
On to a different, but still spectacular part of Scotland - the area around Loch Laggan
I went mountain biking up there at the weekend with a different Sam, and after a wet day of cruising around the built trails at Wolftrax, we decided to go for a spin around the Ardverikie Estate.
TV watchers may be vaguely familiar with the area as the site of the ficticious Glen Bogle in Monarch of the Glen. Climbers will no doubt know of the classic Ardverikie Wall on Binean Shuas. Either way, it's a perfect place to go exploring on a clear Autumn day.
And what a day! After setting off into a fairly dense ming (it takes a lot of faith in the weather forecast to cycle directly into some clouds), we gradually saw the clouds lift as we rode on, with the odd wisp still clinging to the lochs. I know it looks pretty cool in the photos but that doesn't even get close to doing the sight justice. Even though I know it's due to temperature differences in the air, it still looks like magic happening right there.
We stormed our way through the first part of the riding - mostly on good Land Rover tracks. Because the area is a deer estate there's actually pretty good infrastructure for getting around, and even the odd holiday home hiding in the trees:
To be honest, after a while I was getting a bit weary of riding on good tracks - part of the fun of mountain biking is overcoming the obstacles that the trails throw at you. Luckily, the trail turned into some incredible singletrack snaking up a beautiful glen.
Unluckily it was the wrong glen and we had to re-trace our steps for about 6km. And the push our bikes most of the way up a munro, made all the more soul-destroying by the fact that the trail looked almost unrideable. If we were going to have to push back down the other side it would have been quite upsetting.
Of course, the downhill was rideable, and utterly fantastic.
Riding this sort of ground is exhilarating in so many ways. Squirming the bike between rocks and ruts focusses the mind like few things I know, and then letting loose of the brakes on the smoother sections brings some raw speed into proceedings. There's no time to think about how broken you'll be if you stack it - all your thoughts are on spotting the best line, or even just one that's kind of safe. Zen monks train for years to achieve and emptiness of mind like this. I suspect they'd be doubtful that riding a pushbike down a hill could lead to enlightenment though. Who cares - it's brilliant fun.
So for any mountain bikers reading this - hell, anybody reading this - get thee to Glen Bogle. It rocks.
On to a different, but still spectacular part of Scotland - the area around Loch Laggan
I went mountain biking up there at the weekend with a different Sam, and after a wet day of cruising around the built trails at Wolftrax, we decided to go for a spin around the Ardverikie Estate.
TV watchers may be vaguely familiar with the area as the site of the ficticious Glen Bogle in Monarch of the Glen. Climbers will no doubt know of the classic Ardverikie Wall on Binean Shuas. Either way, it's a perfect place to go exploring on a clear Autumn day.
And what a day! After setting off into a fairly dense ming (it takes a lot of faith in the weather forecast to cycle directly into some clouds), we gradually saw the clouds lift as we rode on, with the odd wisp still clinging to the lochs. I know it looks pretty cool in the photos but that doesn't even get close to doing the sight justice. Even though I know it's due to temperature differences in the air, it still looks like magic happening right there.
We stormed our way through the first part of the riding - mostly on good Land Rover tracks. Because the area is a deer estate there's actually pretty good infrastructure for getting around, and even the odd holiday home hiding in the trees:
To be honest, after a while I was getting a bit weary of riding on good tracks - part of the fun of mountain biking is overcoming the obstacles that the trails throw at you. Luckily, the trail turned into some incredible singletrack snaking up a beautiful glen.
Unluckily it was the wrong glen and we had to re-trace our steps for about 6km. And the push our bikes most of the way up a munro, made all the more soul-destroying by the fact that the trail looked almost unrideable. If we were going to have to push back down the other side it would have been quite upsetting.
Of course, the downhill was rideable, and utterly fantastic.
Riding this sort of ground is exhilarating in so many ways. Squirming the bike between rocks and ruts focusses the mind like few things I know, and then letting loose of the brakes on the smoother sections brings some raw speed into proceedings. There's no time to think about how broken you'll be if you stack it - all your thoughts are on spotting the best line, or even just one that's kind of safe. Zen monks train for years to achieve and emptiness of mind like this. I suspect they'd be doubtful that riding a pushbike down a hill could lead to enlightenment though. Who cares - it's brilliant fun.
So for any mountain bikers reading this - hell, anybody reading this - get thee to Glen Bogle. It rocks.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Post Rock
So I signed up for the Shuffleathon over on Swiss Toni's Blog the other week, and have already received my CD! The idea of the shuffleathon is for a bunch of strangers to send Toni their address, and he pick out a victim for each person to make a mix CD for. Once you get the mix CD you post a review on your blog, and everyone gets to discover lots of music. Ace.
Mine was made by Mark over at LifeOnPlanetMe and I've now had it for a few days and a few listens. Reviewing each of the 23 tracks individually could get a bit tedious, so I'll just give a tracklisting and then discuss my particular high and low points. I won't pull any punches on the stuff I don't like as I don't believe in pretending to like music that I hate, so please don't take that side of things personally Mark - the whole point of music is to evoke emotions!
Tracklisting:
Whole Lotta Love - Prince. I remember at school there was an urban myth that Prince had some ribs removed so that he could auto-fellate. It seemed believable at the time, partly because of Prince's ludicrous-yet-entertaining sex-dwarf persona, and partly because when you're a teenage boy you want such things to be true. I now realise that it's certainly not true, because if you could suck yourself off, WHY WOULD YOU BOTHER WANKING IN PUBLIC LIKE HE DOES ON THIS SONG? Please, Prince, put it away.
Love Will Tear Us Apart - The Cure. I love the original, and I'm quite fond of The Cure, so I was quite surprised at how bad I found this. Where the original makes you empathise with the bleak subject material by being heartfelt and catchy, this version just makes you want to smack Robert Smith and tell him to cheer the fuck up. I feel a bit absurd for criticising a Joy Division cover for being too dreary, but this sort of thing does give sad music a bad name.
Girls and Boys - Pet Shop Boys. I just don't get the Pet Shop Boys at all - everything they do just sounds lifeless to me. And I hate the original. This made me want to superglue earplugs into my ear canals forever so that I don't accidentally hear it again.
Street Life - Morrissey. Oh, he's just a cunt, alright?
It's not all bad, though. INdeed there's some superb little numbers on there:
Teenage Kicks - Therapy? For me, Therapy? will always represent all of the unsavoury aspects of being a teenage boy. Here, they've made the song their own and turned it into a terrifyingly sinister stalker-dirge. It's actually scary to listen to. And at the end you can just about hear Andy Cairns' distorted voice saying 'Sorry Fergal' but not really meaning it. Ace.
Crazy - The Flaming Lips. The Lips always seem to do brilliant covers, often replacing many of the lyrics with their own seemingly ad-libbed words. In contrast to Gnarls Barley's dense original, this version is a far more spartan arrangement, but the quality of the song isn't dented one bit by this or by Wayne Coyne's alternative narrative.
Keep the Car Runing - Foo Fighters. Having picked one of the criminally over-rated Arcade Fire's truly great songs, Grohl and co. go for a fairly straight cover version, with an accordion taking the place of the original's strings etc. As usual, Dave Grohl's innate likeability shines through and makes this a real treat to listen to.
Hot in Herre - Beck. On just seeing this in the tracklisting I realised that 'Hot in Herre' is really a Beck song that just so happened to have been released by Nelly. The whole song is essentially one long shit chat-up line but as Beck shows here (and Nelly on the original) if you deliver it properly it can be brilliant.
There's a few other songs that I really enjoy (Radiohead's cover is a bit of an old favourite, and Coldplay use their earnestness to bring a heartbreaking quality to theirs) and some that leave me cold (Suede, Metallica, Audioslave, Ian Brown). There's some annoying niggles with a couple of tracks ending a bit abruptly and the sound levels all over the place (I really hate having to fanny about with the volume al the time to hear the songs properly). They're not critical flaws, but things that the dedicated mixtape nerd can fix easily in this glorious digital era.
As you'd expect with a mixtape for a complete stranger, it's a bit of a hit-and-miss affair for me. There's plenty on here that I don't like or am indifferent to, and I doubt I'll be listening to it much. There are, however, a few absolute corkers on here that I'll probably end up ripping and using in a mixtape of my own at some point. The main thing is that Mark's obviously put together some songs he loves and wants others to hear, which is all that you can ask for. So cheers, Mark - the CD may not have completely rocked my world but it did at least get me spastic dancing round my room to Beck.
As for my mixtape, that'll be revelaed soooooooon.
Mine was made by Mark over at LifeOnPlanetMe and I've now had it for a few days and a few listens. Reviewing each of the 23 tracks individually could get a bit tedious, so I'll just give a tracklisting and then discuss my particular high and low points. I won't pull any punches on the stuff I don't like as I don't believe in pretending to like music that I hate, so please don't take that side of things personally Mark - the whole point of music is to evoke emotions!
Tracklisting:
- Let there be Rock - Henry Rollins & the Hardons
- Whole Lotta Love - Prince
- Where's Captain Kirk? - R.E.M.
- Teenage Kicks - Therapy?
- It's Not Unusual - The Wedding Present
- Alphabet Street - Jesus and Mary Chain
- Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue - Metallica
- What's So Funny About Peace, Love and Understanding?
- Been All Around the World - The Pixies
- Instant Karma - U2
- Keep the Car Running - Foo Fighters
- Love Will Tear Us Apart - The Cure
- Crazy - The Flaming Lips
- Hot In Herre - Beck
- Thriller - Ian Brown
- Girls and Boys - Pet Shop Boys
- Can't Get You Out of My Head - Coldplay
- Street Life - Morrissey
- Union City Blue - Suede
- Nobody Does it Better - Radiohead
- Dark Globe - David Gilmour
- Straight To Hell - Moby
- So Long and Thanks for Al the Fish - The Divine Comedy
Whole Lotta Love - Prince. I remember at school there was an urban myth that Prince had some ribs removed so that he could auto-fellate. It seemed believable at the time, partly because of Prince's ludicrous-yet-entertaining sex-dwarf persona, and partly because when you're a teenage boy you want such things to be true. I now realise that it's certainly not true, because if you could suck yourself off, WHY WOULD YOU BOTHER WANKING IN PUBLIC LIKE HE DOES ON THIS SONG? Please, Prince, put it away.
Love Will Tear Us Apart - The Cure. I love the original, and I'm quite fond of The Cure, so I was quite surprised at how bad I found this. Where the original makes you empathise with the bleak subject material by being heartfelt and catchy, this version just makes you want to smack Robert Smith and tell him to cheer the fuck up. I feel a bit absurd for criticising a Joy Division cover for being too dreary, but this sort of thing does give sad music a bad name.
Girls and Boys - Pet Shop Boys. I just don't get the Pet Shop Boys at all - everything they do just sounds lifeless to me. And I hate the original. This made me want to superglue earplugs into my ear canals forever so that I don't accidentally hear it again.
Street Life - Morrissey. Oh, he's just a cunt, alright?
It's not all bad, though. INdeed there's some superb little numbers on there:
Teenage Kicks - Therapy? For me, Therapy? will always represent all of the unsavoury aspects of being a teenage boy. Here, they've made the song their own and turned it into a terrifyingly sinister stalker-dirge. It's actually scary to listen to. And at the end you can just about hear Andy Cairns' distorted voice saying 'Sorry Fergal' but not really meaning it. Ace.
Crazy - The Flaming Lips. The Lips always seem to do brilliant covers, often replacing many of the lyrics with their own seemingly ad-libbed words. In contrast to Gnarls Barley's dense original, this version is a far more spartan arrangement, but the quality of the song isn't dented one bit by this or by Wayne Coyne's alternative narrative.
Keep the Car Runing - Foo Fighters. Having picked one of the criminally over-rated Arcade Fire's truly great songs, Grohl and co. go for a fairly straight cover version, with an accordion taking the place of the original's strings etc. As usual, Dave Grohl's innate likeability shines through and makes this a real treat to listen to.
Hot in Herre - Beck. On just seeing this in the tracklisting I realised that 'Hot in Herre' is really a Beck song that just so happened to have been released by Nelly. The whole song is essentially one long shit chat-up line but as Beck shows here (and Nelly on the original) if you deliver it properly it can be brilliant.
There's a few other songs that I really enjoy (Radiohead's cover is a bit of an old favourite, and Coldplay use their earnestness to bring a heartbreaking quality to theirs) and some that leave me cold (Suede, Metallica, Audioslave, Ian Brown). There's some annoying niggles with a couple of tracks ending a bit abruptly and the sound levels all over the place (I really hate having to fanny about with the volume al the time to hear the songs properly). They're not critical flaws, but things that the dedicated mixtape nerd can fix easily in this glorious digital era.
As you'd expect with a mixtape for a complete stranger, it's a bit of a hit-and-miss affair for me. There's plenty on here that I don't like or am indifferent to, and I doubt I'll be listening to it much. There are, however, a few absolute corkers on here that I'll probably end up ripping and using in a mixtape of my own at some point. The main thing is that Mark's obviously put together some songs he loves and wants others to hear, which is all that you can ask for. So cheers, Mark - the CD may not have completely rocked my world but it did at least get me spastic dancing round my room to Beck.
As for my mixtape, that'll be revelaed soooooooon.
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